Our kids are going to have some fancy toys, aren’t they? Everything is downloadable this, upgrade that, or just go buy another one of those in your favorite color. We live in the digital age, and we all grew up right in the midst of it. When the ‘90s weren’t ramming a boy band down our throats, it was coming up with a new way to rob our parents blind with the newest toy fad. Here are the Top 5 Toys of Our Generation.

5. Tamagotchi/Gigapet – These keychain sized digital pets debuted in 1996 across the Pacific pond in Japan. The idea was to give people a pet on a tiny screen in an egg-shaped housing. One was required to clean up the poo, feed and “play” with their little animal (be it a dog, cat, or even a dinosaur, in some incarnations). The biggest problem came when school rolled around and you couldn’t take it with you, and in most cases you came home to a dead digi-pet. Let that heavy weight sink on your seven-year-old conscience.

4. Action figures/Barbie dolls – Action figures and Barbie dolls in the ‘90s did just about anything conceivable – even if it didn’t make any sense. Need a Batman action figure that parachutes, changes color in cold water, or shoots a missile out of a jetpack he never had? They’ve got that taken care of for you. As for Barbies, the release of “Pretty in Plaid” Barbie alongside the belly shirt and overall wearing “Cool Color Teresa” reminds us all of how AWESOME ‘90s fashion was. Just prepare to claw your eyes out with small plastic hands when you lay eyes on the neon green, fanny pack toting glory of Rollerblades Ken in short shorts.

3. Mighty Max/Polly Pocket – Get ready for some hardcore childhood gender role formation, readers. These tiny sized play sets could’ve ended the life of your infant little brother with their choke hazardtastic pieces, but you didn’t care about that. You were the godlike driving force in a micro-sized fantasy world of monsters for Mighty Max, or pink squishy things in Polly Pocket. Mighty Max play sets were monster shaped, or oriented, play sets that came with this little kid and several monsters and side characters. The kid named Max wore a baseball cap that could transport him through portals whenever it was turned backwards, therefore allowing him to have all his micro-sized adventures. Polly inhabited compact sized play worlds that involved school, dances, or adventures with her conveniently multi-cultural friends.

2. Themed Lego kits – Lego kits were perhaps this writer’s greatest vice growing up. With the sudden explosion of several different types of Lego kits, every birthday and Christmas gift for several years was accounted for. Star Wars, ancient Egypt, undersea adventures, feudal Japan and even outer space were all universes that were converted into Lego kits. Not only was the building with instructions fun, but afterwards you could tear everything apart and build a new world where Darth Maul could kick the crap out of a car driving ninja with a scuba suit if you pleased. It’s a good bet that many would-be engineers got their start with Legos.

1. Pokemon cards – If engineers got started with Legos, then today’s successful drug dealers probably got their start in that shady part of the playground with these Japanese monstrosities. Pokemon cards, short for Pocket Monsters, were the offshoot of the successful Game Boy video game series of the same name. The cards had a cute little monster with abilities listed below the picture; and people paid good money for them. After the cards made their way to the United States they quickly “evolved” into a drug-like addiction for many kids. Most schools placed bans or limits on the cards due to their disruptive nature, but the hall monitor Gestapo often didn’t extend its reach to the playground. Kids would circle around others that were carrying Charizard, Mewtwo, or at the then elusive Mew and try to haggle the little Pokemon dealer down so they could get their card fix. It’s no small wonder that some uber-religious families shielded their children from what they considered the work of Beelzebub. I say it’s more the work of Bulbasaur, but in any case Pokemon’s insanity continues to this day with 493 different species to collect and no end in sight.

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