I’ll be the first to admit that women carry a certain burden that men can never quite understand. In the traditional social roles that have been maintained by a patriarchal system the domain of women has been the home and family, while we boys get to go outside and play cowboys and Indians. Well, in honor of Women’s History Month, I am going to recognize what women I think best went out to play with the boys, and often kicked their asses. Here is Josh’s Top 5 “Badass Beauties.”
5. Annie Oakley – Annie Oakley was a famous sharpshooter of the Wild West, and considered by many to be first true American female superstar. Born Phoebe Anne Mosey, she initially began shooting to support her widowed mother and seven brothers and sisters, but became widely noticed when she beat her future husband (also a sharpshooter) in a shooting contest. Standing at five feet tall, the little lady stunned audiences of Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show with her shooting expositions. Oakley was rumored to be able to shoot a playing card facing the edge, and then shoot it six more times before it hit the ground. Clint Eastwood: eat your heart out.
4. Boudicca – This queen of the ancient Britons, whose name means “victory” in her native tongue, came to prominence when her husband died around 60 A.D. Her husband was a King of the Iceni tribe that was allied with the Romans, and according to his wishes he wanted his daughters to rule his tribe after his death. After his death, the Romans flogged Boudicca, raped his daughters and seized his tribes holdings. Boudicca roused several of the tribes of Briton together to rebel against the occupying Romans, and in her campaign of retribution it is estimated that she killed between 70,000-80,000 people in the three major settlements she attacked. Her attacks prompted the emperor Nero to consider abandoning Britain altogether, and forced him to reroute whole legions from other places to put down this female rebel filled with righteous indignation.
3. Anne Bonny – Anne Bonny is remembered simply for the fact that she was a female pirate during the “golden age of piracy” in the 18th century. Bonny married a small time pirate, and then promptly cheated on him with another pirate named “Calico Jack” Rackham. Rackham offered Bonny’s husband money to buy her for marriage, but she refused to “be bought and sold like cattle.” Bonny joined Rackham’s crew and with another female pirate, Mary Read, they stole a ship called the “Revenge.” The infamous three sailed around the Caribbean taking ships and money. Bonny was eventually captured but used the fact that she was pregnant with Rackham’s child to delay her execution until her father could pay her ransom.
2. Lyudmila Pavlichenko – During World War II the Soviets became renowned for their use of snipers, particularly the skill of Vasily Zaytsev who was portrayed by the significantly less fugly Jude Law in the 2001 film, “Enemy at the Gates.” He had 242 verified kills, and got enough bling from Comrade Stalin to make Lil’ Wayne jealous. Uniquely, the Soviet Army also allowed females to serve as snipers, where Pavlichenko became famous for her 309 confirmed kills. This woman from Ukraine, who was also a successful student at the University of Kiev, was one of 2000 women to volunteer to be snipers for the Red Army. Only 500 of them survived the war, with Pavlichenko being one of them. Pavlichenko received the Order of Lenin and Hero of the Soviet Union, which is less recognition than what Zaytsev received for killing fewer men. She went on to be the first Soviet citizen to visit the White House, had her own stamp made in the Soviet Union in 1943 and 1976, had a Woody Guthrie song written about her and finally had a ship named after her posthumously. She is considered by military historians to be the most successful female sniper in history.
1. Joan of Arc – If you ever wonder what God tells people to do, look up Joan of Arc. This 15th century maiden of France rose to prominence when she claimed that God had told her to drive the occupying English back to their homeland. Joan did not simply stand back and watch what her visions could inspire, but instead strapped on armor and rode out to the city of Orleans where she helped break the long standing siege in only nine days. She took bold action in leading French forces when their strategy up to that point had been one of caution and cowardice. Joan was captured when she was unhorsed by an archer, and she was kept in prison due to her family’s inability to pay her ransom. She died being burnt at the stake by English clergymen for heresy after being sexually assaulted and signing a confession she couldn’t read. Joan was canonized years later when Pope Callixtus III declared her innocent of any charges of heresy.























How can anyone forget Emma Goldman?!