You know Hollywood is running out of good ideas when a remake of the ‘80s Cold War action flick “Red Dawn” sounds in any way appealing to a modern audience. Hollywood is also making a few bucks off of a Wolverine of a different sort with the new trend of making superhero oriented movies of varying quality and fan following. Many casual movie goers may view comic books themselves as a strange and childish medium read by virgin lads with altars to Kevin Smith in their bedrooms. To combat this, some literary critics have insisted that comic book superheroes are to us what Beowulf was to his audience – a reflection of what we view as heroic in our own time. I would have to agree with these literary critics, and present to you Josh’s Top 5 “Superheroes.”

5. Green Lantern a.k.a. Hal Jordan– The Green Lantern is a DC Comics hero with power that derives from a ring that can create solid matter and energy only limited by the bearer’s imagination, courage and willpower. In essence, the ring of Green Lantern is as strong as he wills it to be. Whenever the Green Lantern desires to “recharge” his ring he places it in a lantern and recites the Green Lantern Oath: “In brightest day, in blackest night,/No evil shall escape my sight/Let those who worship evil’s might,/Beware my power… Green Lantern’s light!” Green Lantern is scheduled to be made into a movie with Ryan Reynolds playing the jeweled harbinger of justice.

4. Thor a.k.a. Donald Blake – Thor is the Norse god of thunder, and one of the most powerful beings in existence in the Marvel Comics universe. This Viking badass is sent to earth under the guise of a meek scientist that transformed into the god of thunder whenever he tapped his cane on the ground. The fact that a Norse god finds himself fighting crime on Earth is astounding, especially when you consider the injuries you could incur if you decided to shoplift then get your ass beaten by a giant hammer wielding guy with a winged hat and cape. Thor’s hammer, Mjolnir, has the ability to beat the hell out of frost giants, other gods and even give the Incredible Hulk a run for his money. On top of all of this, Thor is getting a movie adaptation directed by acclaimed Shakespearean actor Kenneth Branagh – NERDGASM!

3. The Comedian a.k.a. Edward Blake – I get a peculiar sense of joy in including The Comedian in this list. The Comedian was a character in Alan Moore’s 1986 “Watchmen” graphic novel that did everything a hero is not supposed to do while still being considered a masked hero. He takes the idea of humans being anything more than animalistic as a sick joke and does whatever he damn well pleases in order to prove that correct. He does all this while chomping on a cigar and wearing a happy face pin on his costume. The Comedian is one of the characters that marked the turning point of comic book characters from masked defenders of the Status Quo to literary characters that can spit in the face of all that we hold dear.

2. Batman a.k.a. Bruce Wayne – Batman was created by comic book artist Bob Kane in 1939. Batman’s origins lie in the tragic tale of multi-millionaire Bruce Wayne whose parents were murdered in front of him as a boy. As he matured, Wayne took it upon himself to fight crime with fighting techniques and gadgets that he could acquire with his virtually unlimited personal resources. Featuring some of the coolest villains in comic book history such as The Joker, Two-Face and the Riddler, Batman’s status as a human and powerless superhero has translated to instant box-office success. Batman’s appeal lies in his ability to tow the line between hero and villain with his personal creed to never kill. Often the only thing that separates his personal trauma from his enemies is his oath to not kill and this created some of the heaviest stories in modern comic history.

1. Captain America a.k.a. Steve Rogers – This patriotic pansy turned super-soldier exploded onto the comic book scene with a right hook straight to Hitler’s face for his first cover in 1941. Captain America began as a wartime propaganda character that was later revived into a leader for the legendary superhero team The Avengers. Cap’s power derives from a serum that was administered to him as part of a World War II experiment to create the perfect soldier. The Cap may remind some of the jingoistic ignorance of the mid 20th century but his post revival self has come to represent the unyielding ideas of liberty, patriotism and moral uprightness. He has even, on several occasions, rebelled against the demands of the U.S. political system to better protect his belief in the freedom of the citizens he shields.

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