They always say don’t judge a book by its cover, but what about albums? Often times the content of an album is predicted, or even enhanced, by the art that goes with the sale of the CD. In an era where music downloads have put a significant dent in the sale of hard copies, album artwork may have its place at the guillotine next to newspapers and DVDs. That being said, album artwork is one of my favorite parts of an album, since it has the potential to draw me towards a work before I even get the opportunity to sample the music. Then there are those album covers that defy explanation. Why anyone in their right mind would choose some of these covers is beyond me, but I guess I am not selling albums. Here is Josh’s Top Five “Hilarious Album Covers.”

5. “Street Songs” from Rick James –Here’s James with dreads, a bass guitar and red thigh high boots standing on a street corner with what could only be described as a woman of questionable reputation walking away behind him. In essence, this is Rick James’ life put onto the cover of an album. His drug induced shenanigans were made famous by some court cases and Dave Chappelle, so the reputation of Rick James could only be enhanced by the fact that he died with enough drugs in him to make Tony Montagna cringe.

4. “Zip Zap Rap” by Devastatin’ Dave –The actual single from the album is an anti-drug song to teach the hopefully adolescent listener just how whack crack is, since we all know rappers are notorious for their staunchly anti-drug position. I am totally surprised that Devastatin’ Dave isn’t mentioned alongside such greats as MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice. I suppose this is white America’s solution for reaching urban youth – a guy who looks like a poor Lionel Ritchie. In fact, I think this cover makes me want to do drugs more so that I can hopefully lose the memory of having ever found this steaming pile of 80’s MC crap.

3. “In a Metal Mood – No More Mr. Nice Guy” from Pat Boone –We have an aging man in a leather vest who is giving you one heck of a shimmering wink. As a fan of such bands as Behemoth, Mastodon and Dimmu Borgir, the hilarity of this being subtitled “No More Mr. Nice Guy” is astounding. If the title, the wink and the leather vest don’t get you then the ear piercing and gold chain will. He means business, since apparently crooning metal is about as badass as Pat Boone could ever hope to be.

2. “Sticky Fingers” from The Rolling Stones – Wait a second. I’m not sure if they just greased a guy up and slipped him into the most sperm killing, voice heightening jeans they could find, or what. No matter what, this album cover raised some eyebrows at its debut in 1971. The original vinyl issue featured a working zipper that when opened showed underwear, but that probably wasn’t what people were expecting to see. Most casual observers believe the infamous… form in question was Mick Jagger’s, but in actuality the model is unknown since there were several different men who posed.

1. “Por primera vez” by Tino – Unfortunately, the first thing that comes to mind when I see this album cover is Ricky Martin violating Wilmer Valderrama while singing “Livin’ La Vida Loca.” The pose itself is classic, but the combination of clothing and the stare that just screams sex offender is wonderfully tacky. The strangest part of this cover seems to be that he REALLY wants you to know that he’s married. Maybe it’s some sort of sin deterrent, since those Daisy Dukes would drive anybody into a Latin loving frenzy.

Send article as PDF to