Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a rookie, there’s always something new to be learned about the etiquette of oral sex. Before you jump into the action, the first thing you should do is take a pregame sniff.
Preferences will always vary by person, but I think many can agree that clean genitalia are desirable genitalia, and women’s vaginas are a marvelous thing when it comes to hygiene. Our lady bits actually clean themselves…sort of. Vaginas produce certain, cleansing bacteria that come out with discharge. Some say we shouldn’t use soap to clean down there because it could alter the pH balance, but I personally believe this is simply a matter of preference. I know plenty of women who’ve been using soap, douches, etc. for years now, and their vaginas are still going strong. But like I’ve said before, I’m no expert. If you’re worried about the best ways to clean your crotch, I say go with your instincts. If you’re still not satisfied, ask your doctor or visit the health center on campus.
Unfortunately, I don’t have a penis, so I can’t really give male readers any advice on how to clean their junk. Like I said for the ladies, use your best judgment. From what I understand, your boys get humid and sticky throughout the day. If you’re looking to receive fellatio from your significant other, do a courtesy wash.
What we need to remember, but often forget, is that vaginas and penises both will always have a natural, musky odor. It can’t be helped. It doesn’t necessarily mean the organ is unclean or infected in some way; it just means you’re a human being with a perfectly normal, natural thing between your legs.
That being said, there’s no shame in asking your partner to “freshen up,” so to speak, before you engage in oral pleasure. It’s important, however, to do so in a non-offensive way. I suggest asking them to take a shower with you, or something along those lines, so you don’t kill the mood. No one wants to hear that they smell bad in their nether regions, but on the flip side, no one wants to use their mouth on a sex organ that’s been stewing in its own filth for who knows how long. There’s nothing sexy about swamp ass.
The bottom line is, if you want some head, make sure you’re properly prepped. This includes grooming your pubic hair. Some like a vagina that’s completely hairless and others like a little, or a lot, of foliage. Luckily, hair doesn’t grow on the shaft of the penis, but many guys enjoy some testicle action during fellatio. Most of my guy friends tell me that shaving the balls is out of the question because when the stubble grows in, it’s quite unpleasant.
You will never know what your partner prefers unless you ask. If you’re not in a monogamous relationship, I recommend leaving a little bush. You don’t want a jungle, but you also don’t want a linoleum floor. Find a happy medium, like an area rug.
What about those instances where oral sex is spontaneous? Say you meet someone at the bar or at a house party. You can usually, safely assume that they bathed (and perhaps groomed their pubes) before going out that night. But it’s also a good idea to remember that activities like dancing, or even just standing around in a crowded, over-heated house makes you – and your crotchal region – sweat. Take a sniff before you get down to the nitty gritty, and if a courtesy wash is in order, be vocal about it.
However, from a health standpoint, I strongly discourage performing oral sex on a random person you’ve known for little more than a few hours. I was horrified when a friend recently told me that he was “pretty sure” the only infection one can get from oral sex is herpes, so as long as you use protection, like condoms, you should be safe.
Wrong. He was so incredibly wrong. While herpes is, in fact, the most-commonly spread sexually transmitted infection during oral sex, according to Avert.org, an international HIV and AIDS charity based in the United Kingdom working to prevent the spread of HIV and AIDS worldwide through education, treatment and care, oral sex can lead to a whole slew of STIs if you’re not careful, including gonorrhea, syphilis, genital warts, chlamydia, hepatitis A, B and C, and HIV. While some pose a greater risk than others, all are plausible.
One way to prevent the spread of STIs is to use a condom, and I’ve even heard of instances where women use saran wrap to cover their vaginas. But condoms, saran wrap, etc. can decrease sensitivity or have an unpleasant flavor. In my opinion, this sort of defeats the purpose of oral sex and creates more trouble than it’s worth.
So if you’re going to perform oral sex, do it with someone you know and are comfortable with. Given all the diseases out there, how can you be sure that rando you brought home with you isn’t going to transmit more than you bargained for?