Templeton
Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a rookie, there’s always something new to be learned about the etiquette of oral sex. Before you jump into the action, the first thing you should do is take a pregame sniff.
Preferences will always vary by person, but I think many can agree that clean genitalia are desirable genitalia, and women’s vaginas are a marvelous thing when it comes to hygiene. Our lady bits actually clean themselves…sort of. Vaginas produce certain, cleansing bacteria that come out with discharge. Some say we shouldn’t use soap to clean down there because it could alter the pH balance, but I personally believe this is simply a matter of preference. I know plenty of women who’ve been using soap, douches, etc. for years now, and their vaginas are still going strong. But like I’ve said before, I’m no expert. If you’re worried about the best ways to clean your crotch, I say go with your instincts. If you’re still not satisfied, ask your doctor or visit the health center on campus.
Unfortunately, I don’t have a penis, so I can’t really give male readers any advice on how to clean their junk. Like I said for the ladies, use your best judgment. From what I understand, your boys get humid and sticky throughout the day. If you’re looking to receive fellatio from your significant other, do a courtesy wash.
What we need to remember, but often forget, is that vaginas and penises both will always have a natural, musky odor. It can’t be helped. It doesn’t necessarily mean the organ is unclean or infected in some way; it just means you’re a human being with a perfectly normal, natural thing between your legs.
That being said, there’s no shame in asking your partner to “freshen up,” so to speak, before you engage in oral pleasure. It’s important, however, to do so in a non-offensive way. I suggest asking them to take a shower with you, or something along those lines, so you don’t kill the mood. No one wants to hear that they smell bad in their nether regions, but on the flip side, no one wants to use their mouth on a sex organ that’s been stewing in its own filth for who knows how long. There’s nothing sexy about swamp ass.
The bottom line is, if you want some head, make sure you’re properly prepped. This includes grooming your pubic hair. Some like a vagina that’s completely hairless and others like a little, or a lot, of foliage. Luckily, hair doesn’t grow on the shaft of the penis, but many guys enjoy some testicle action during fellatio. Most of my guy friends tell me that shaving the balls is out of the question because when the stubble grows in, it’s quite unpleasant.
You will never know what your partner prefers unless you ask. If you’re not in a monogamous relationship, I recommend leaving a little bush. You don’t want a jungle, but you also don’t want a linoleum floor. Find a happy medium, like an area rug.
What about those instances where oral sex is spontaneous? Say you meet someone at the bar or at a house party. You can usually, safely assume that they bathed (and perhaps groomed their pubes) before going out that night. But it’s also a good idea to remember that activities like dancing, or even just standing around in a crowded, over-heated house makes you – and your crotchal region – sweat. Take a sniff before you get down to the nitty gritty, and if a courtesy wash is in order, be vocal about it.
However, from a health standpoint, I strongly discourage performing oral sex on a random person you’ve known for little more than a few hours. I was horrified when a friend recently told me that he was “pretty sure” the only infection one can get from oral sex is herpes, so as long as you use protection, like condoms, you should be safe.
Wrong. He was so incredibly wrong. While herpes is, in fact, the most-commonly spread sexually transmitted infection during oral sex, according to Avert.org, an international HIV and AIDS charity based in the United Kingdom working to prevent the spread of HIV and AIDS worldwide through education, treatment and care, oral sex can lead to a whole slew of STIs if you’re not careful, including gonorrhea, syphilis, genital warts, chlamydia, hepatitis A, B and C, and HIV. While some pose a greater risk than others, all are plausible.
One way to prevent the spread of STIs is to use a condom, and I’ve even heard of instances where women use saran wrap to cover their vaginas. But condoms, saran wrap, etc. can decrease sensitivity or have an unpleasant flavor. In my opinion, this sort of defeats the purpose of oral sex and creates more trouble than it’s worth.
So if you’re going to perform oral sex, do it with someone you know and are comfortable with. Given all the diseases out there, how can you be sure that rando you brought home with you isn’t going to transmit more than you bargained for?
I wouldn’t mind a weekly article on sex if it was actually something….how can I say….”useful”. The articles from this column are not well researched, not insightful, and don’t really present any new information. I’m more than a little embarrassed that visitors to ESU are able to pick up our newspapers and read these trashy articles. The existence of this column puts our university in a bad light. It’s all flash and buzz words with no substance.
How about an interview with a health worker about what college students need to know?
How about some actually factual, professionally-gathered information about sex statistics in universities?
In response to kfox1…this article wasn’t about sex! I didn’t read anything that talked about the oral act itself or how to perform any kind of oral sex. What I did read was an article about the responsiblities of hygeine on the part of both males and females when it comes to oral sex, something that isn’t always first and foremost in the mind. I also think Kenzie brought up a VERY important fact that alot of times oral sex is considered “safe sex” because it doesn’t cause pregnancy, but maybe it isn’t so safe in other ways.
It’s really too bad that you were so embarassed by this article. I would think that you would be proud that the newspaper isn’t censoring them to death, which happens at alot of colleges. And as for the visitors, everyone has the right and ability after the first paragraph to continue reading or move on to the next article.
I do have a suggestion for you since you seem to think you know what college students want to read….join the newspaper staff!! I’m sure Kenzie would give you a shot. I do wish you well with your factual, professional, statistic filled, no buzz or slang word filled article!
Point for point:
I feel like you’re pulling a President Clinton, “I did not have sex with that woman!”. Since when does oral sex not equal sex? “Oral sex” is a title that gives the hearer/reader more information about what kind of sex it is.
There are countless news and magazine articles addressing the fact that the idea that “oral sex” is “safe sex” is because people–usually these articles refer to high school and middle school students who are easily swayed and don’t know better–assume it isn’t sex at all. Perhaps the article could have addressed that aspect more fully, as it has direct effect on the health of people who believe such things. And, as proven by yourself, some college students don’t know the difference.
If the warning that oral sex is not safe sex is part of what makes this article viable and worthy of a college student’s attention, why is there nothing about how to make oral sex safer? For example, where can one buy a dental dam? Does the health center provide dental dams? If not, why not? How about a tutorial on how to make dental dams out of condoms? Other universities, (here’s looking at you, KU) provide this information to their students in order to protect them more fully from the dangers of unsafe oral sex. I would say in this case, they are less censored than us, yes? Such information would bring this article out of the realm of “abstinence only” (ie: “Given all the diseases out there, how can you be sure that rando you brought home with you isn’t going to transmit more than you bargained for?”) and into the realm of actual sex education. I realize there was an offhanded remark about, “I’ve even heard of instances where women use saran wrap to cover their vaginas”, and how this can “decrease sensitivity” and “have an unpleasant flavor”…..not very helpful, there. Not to mention the fact that saran wrap is NOT suitable for STI prevention. That sort of information might be nice to know, for a college student ignorant of the fact that oral sex can be dangerous, wouldn’t you agree?
In regards to the importance of the information about our respective privates and their hygiene, I would hope all college-aged students know how to clean themselves–granted, I’ve been proven wrong about the knowledge college-aged students have, so there’s one point for you–and if the focus of the article is enlightening these poor souls about the importance of cleanliness, once again, the article is lacking. If a person doesn’t clean themselves, they are at risk for more than cunnilingus or fellatio gone awry. They are at risk for infections, ingrown hairs, and a slew of other ailments. “Getting it on” with a romantic partner is the last thing they need to worry about. The lack of information, nay, even misinformation in this section of the article is, once again, alarming. “Some say we shouldn’t use soap to clean down there because it could alter the pH balance, but I personally believe this is simply a matter of preference.” I ask, would any college-attending, science-respecting student agree that ph balance is a matter of preference? I would pray not. Just because the author knows women who have used douches and soaps “for years” whose vaginas are still “going strong” doesn’t mean this is advisable behavior. For some, this could result in uncomfortable yeast infections or painful UTIs. The intended audience (read: hapless naive college students)could come to harm from following this thoughtlessly thrown out advice. Where is the sense of authorial responsibility in this article? The lack of information for males was sad, as well. Males, though sometimes rare on the ESU campus, still constitute a large portion of our student body, and they still deserve better advice than was given to them in this article (once again, we assume these are the students who know nothing about personal hygiene and how their “stank” can affect the ladies, or, depending on the person, the gents). If these issues addressed in this article are worth writing about, then they are worthy of being researched so as not to present faulty or otherwise lacking info to the target audience.
As far as being embarrassed, I believe I’ve pointed out suitable reasons for my feelings on this matter in the above paragraphs. In short, the article lacked vital information for the dangerously non-informed (the assumed target audience), had false/not-well-researched information that could lead to harm caused to said non-informed students, and, though trying to be edgy, was stuck in the abstinence-only threat-based type of sex ed. we all know about (or maybe “we” don’t; it seems some students are frightfully uninformed) and have come to view as old hat and completely unfulfilling of a young person’s needs.
To address your last point, I laugh a little at how often the comeback of Bulletin-defenders is, “Well, if you know so much, join the newspaper!”. First, I take offense that the assumption is that the criticizers are unemployed. Does this assumption exist, perhaps, because there is a belief that no one could work and generate such pointed criticism? But I digress. If the newspaper cannot take criticism and put it into use in some way, it is not an organization I would like to work for. Also, if the newspaper, as implied, cannot function and produce fact-based, informative, useful articles without my help, once again, it is not an organization I would like to work for. I am not the one with the newspaper job; it is not my burden to produce journalism with integrity. If I wanted that burden, I would have taken it up. However, as a member of the public, it is my right to ask for quality journalism from those who have taken up the mantle. As they say, if the fire is too hot, get out of the kitchen.
Oh, and as for the last personal stab, “I do wish you well…”, does this article suffice?
“If you’re not in a monogamous relationship, I recommend leaving a little bush.”
This line is more than a little confusing. The definition of monogamy is to be married to one person. I doubt that there are very many students in the target audience who are married. Most people use this term incorrectly to refer to a committed relationship with one person.
Even if that is the intent behind the use of this word in this comment, what exactly does being single or in a relationship have to do with how much pubic hair a woman decides to maintain? Why isn’t there advice on how much hair a man should decide to maintain?
On another level, believe it or not, this campus is quite diverse and not everyone is either single or “monogamous”. Some people may be polyamorous or may even be in relationships that are poly-fidelity, meaning more than two individuals in a committed relationship. I understand that we live in rural Kansas where mainstream media isn’t quite ready to recognize these kinds of relationships, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t exist within the student population.
It is great to have an article that talks about sex, but I would much rather prefer that article to be well informed and to speak to the variety of individuals that we actually do have on ESU campus. What I would like to see, as well as more informed writing, is to have the topics discussed or interviewd by a panel of diverse individuals. Include people of different sexual orientations, different genders, different levels of experience and other pertinent backgrounds.
In response to CzarliRex: Actually according to the Merriam Webster dictionary monogamy can also mean, “The condition or practice of having a single mate during a period of time.” So she’s not wrong. Also, I don’t understand why married people are not in the target audience. Just because someone is married doesn’t mean that they know everything there is to know about sex or relationships, or don’t want to improve/spice up their love life. There are actually quite a few married people at the university and I don’t think you should tell her to be more inclusive while telling her to exclude a group.
Aside from that, she’s tried to bring to light other sexual preferences before, for example the BDSM lifestyle, and you shot that all to crap, which I might add was weird. She was trying to spread acceptance of your lifestyle and you ripped her apart because you didn’t like the way she did it. Maybe it’s just me but that seems counterproductive.
Maybe if you have a problem with everything she writes, and it seems that you do, you should stop reading it and make your own newsletter, perhaps sponsored by your club, educating people in the manner you think appropriate and about the things you believe they need to know. Or, at the very least, you could start offering creative criticism instead of simply ripping apart everything she writes, especially when you’re not even on topic. You’re unhappy when she doesn’t specifically mention alternative lifestyles, but you never seem too happy with what she says about them anyway.
Please keep in mind that there is just no way to write about every lifestyle choice or orientation, or even aspect of a relationship in one short article. And yes, while this campus is quite diverse, people with alternate lifestyles are not the only ones reading the newspaper, nor are they the only ones who have sex lives. You keep preaching acceptance of other lifestyles but you don’t seem to be practicing it.