After a long and stressful study session, nothing takes the edge off like a good orgasm. As we prepare to dive head first into Dead Week and finals, days become longer, nights get painfully shorter and the limits of our endurance and mental stamina are stretched to the max. Academic stress is a cruel mistress. But there’s a solution – the big O.
Orgasms are known to relieve tension and pain, help induce sleep and, sometimes, reduce stress. Studies have also shown a correlation in how ejaculating more often – either solo or with a partner(s) – can lead to a lower risk of prostate cancer in adult men, according to Go Ask Alice.
As students, it’s simply in our nature to procrastinate. If you’re anything like me, you promise yourself that you will study. You write it down in your planner or on a calendar as a reminder of what needs to be done by when. But, inevitably, something more intriguing than studying and homework will come along, and academic endeavors are pushed to the backburner. Don’t deny it – we are all guilty.
The frenzy that is Dead Week and finals testing is a direct product of our scholarly shortcomings, among other factors. Think about it. The campus library will be open 24/7 during Finals Week because some of us are so behind on semester projects or have such intense tests coming up that we need access to the library at any time of the day or night to make it through. But wouldn’t these last two weeks of the semester be much more pleasant for everyone if we were all just a bit more mellow? Doesn’t it make sense to charge forward with all the same strength and determination, but to do so with a more positive, relaxed sense of well-being?
I don’t dare suggest the tradition of Dead Week and finals change. It may be hell, but there’s a tremendous sense of accomplishment and overall content when you walk out of that last test and realize you are, officially, done with the semester. The hoopla is part of the college experience, but it’s hard to appreciate anything when you’re a bottle of Xanax away from having an emotional meltdown. Sure, alcohol and other chemical remedies might provide some sort of relief, but then you’ve got to worry about a hangover or other repercussions that detract further studying. Why not rely on a good, old-fashioned, natural solution like an orgasm to take care of the stress?
It’s important to note, however, that not everyone enjoys sex, alone or otherwise, so getting your rocks off might not be the best solution for those with any sort of apprehension about sex.
“Sex can be stress-inducing for some,” said Mary McDaniel, assistant director of Health Services. “We have students from all backgrounds and experiences. Some may have had a history of sexual abuse, some may be in abusive relationships or unequal relationships, or may be in relationships where sex is used as a punishment or reward. It may seem difficult to imagine that something so effortless and fun for most can be downright terrifying to others and not relaxing at all.”
But for others who enjoy sex and all it entails, the benefits of orgasm may be a better, healthier way to deal with stress in these last two weeks. McDaniel said there is no “one size fits all” prescription for stress release, sexual or not, so there isn’t an ideal frequency of orgasm that will help students maintain stress. Still, students should make time for any activities that help manage stress.
“It is a good idea for students to plan a way to manage stress during this busy time of year,” McDaniel said. “Holiday stress adds to the stress of finals and deadlines, so students really need to take care of themselves.”
If having an orgasm works for you, make time for it, but don’t feel obligated to follow through if you simply aren’t in the mood. Having sex or masturbating when you really don’t feel like it is frustrating and can be more of an annoyance than a help. Plus, I’d be willing to bet your chances of actually getting off are slim to none. Most likely, you’ll become too irritated halfway through and give up anyway.
In addition to physical benefits, experiencing orgasm might also help you score higher on tests. Of course, studying, being well rested, well hydrated, well fed and relaxed are all factors that affect test-taking, but “if orgasm helps with any of those key issues, then it seems logical that academic performance could be helped as well,” McDaniel said.
“I don’t know of any studies done that specifically measure this, though,” she added.
So as we prepare for the roughest two weeks of the semester, remember to make time for a different kind of extra-curricular activity, too. If you find yourself in a rut while studying, if the tips of your fingers are forming blisters, if you’re about to crack under the pressure, please, do us all a favor, and take a sex break.