While out at dinner, I sat across from one of my girl friends while she shared some life “lessons” with me.
One of these “lessons” was that every guy friend a girl has, secretly, or not so secretly, wants to “do her.”
It’s a tough topic that involves sticky situations, but when it comes down to it, I believe that being for men and women to be “just friends” is possible. It just may take a lot of growing pains, awkward moments and rough conversations.
In kindergarten, it’s safe to say that it was possible for boys and girls to be “just friends” – unless you really did believe in cooties. Once grown, hormones and feelings add to the challenge of being friends with other genders.
Communication, a key component of relationships, is a challenge because men and women communicate in different ways. “Single Men are Like Waffles, Single Women are Like Spaghetti” by Bill and Pam Farrel illustrates this notion.
Men think in boxes that would resemble a waffle. They like to stay on topic and have a “report” style of talking. Men tend to be more direct.
Women are like spaghetti. Conversations can go from one topic to another and intertwine like noodles, which tends to frustrate men. Women use a “rapport” style of speaking, which is detailed, going from one subject to another. Female communication also strives to build relationships, which is why they may get upset when men do not reciprocate.
In the end, hormones, emotions, and the difficult nature of communication between men and women make it hard for them to just be friends. It is pretty normal for people who are close to have a weird moment of attraction for the other, a random make out session that probably shouldn’t have happened or an awkward date for them to realize they are better off as friends.
Look at the other person’s side of the relationship to make sure it is healthy for you both to go on as friends. You want to be fair to the each other’s feelings. You want to be on as much mutual ground as possible.
It is a challenging, bumpy road, but it could be a fun ride to a beautiful friendship.