Templeton

When winter comes, this campus sleeps. Scores of students pack up and move home for the duration of holiday break. Those of us who are left feel the icy sting of abandonment.

But with the dawn of a new year, the spring semester begins. The horny Hornets are back to school, and the residence halls are abuzz once more with young freshmen and experienced grad students alike, all eager to break the cycle of winter’s dry spell.

A busy campus and warmer weather means many things, not the least of which is an increase in students’ libidos. And while the free condom bowl in the Student Health Center dwindles, the facts and figures of safe sex may not be at the forefronts of our minds. Even the most precautious and educated student can forget (or ignore) the simple basics in the heat of the moment. Others are simply ignorant to the realities of coital bondage, thanks to the pathetic excuse Kansas’ public schools pass as “sexual education.”

So, compiled here are the most common sex myths and misconceptions that plague our generation.

For instance, how many of us believe that if we got the Gardasil vaccine, we’re safe from HPV (human papillomavirus)? Wrong. While it’s recommended that both males and females between the ages of 11 and 26 get the vaccine, it’s still relatively new, and not everything is yet known about this wonder drug. There’s a possibility the vaccine’s effectiveness can wear off over time, but Mary McDaniel, assistant director of Health Services, said it’s believed the vaccine lasts at least five years.

“With any kind of vaccine, not everybody gets 100 percent protection, which doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get it – it just means you also need to be smart and safe,” McDaniel said.

There’s also the possibility that you could have been exposed to HPV prior to getting the vaccination if you were already sexually active. The bottom line: don’t assume you’re good to go sans traditional protection (i.e. a condom) just because you got the Gardasil stick.

Sexual diseases and infections are not something to take lightly, but no matter what your mama says, you won’t get any STDs/STIs from toilet seats. Most of the organisms that cause these types of sexual blunders cannot survive for long on a cold, porcelain surface.

“The reason it continues to be a concern is because some organisms can survive for quite a while on an inanimate object, like the herpes virus, as long as it’s on a moist surface,” McDaniel said. “But if you think about it, the part of you that touches the toilet is not typically where you find the herpes virus, so it shouldn’t be a legitimate concern.”

What you should be worried about, however, is, say, a roomie with pubic lice (krabs) who likes to sit on your shared furniture while also going commando. This can leave behind unwanted little critters who are just biding their time until they can latch onto your own warm, unsuspecting, moist crotchal region.

On that note, you should also keep in mind that even dry humping with your undies on isn’t safe sex. It may reduce your chances of contracting an STD or infection if the area in question is covered, but if one (or more) partner/s ejaculates on or around the other’s genitals, there’s a chance (albeit small) the semen could cause an infection, or even lead to pregnancy.

“Your underwear is not a moisture-proof barrier, and those tiny organisms (sperm, bacteria, viruses, etc.) travel pretty easily through a moist barrier,” McDaniel said. “(Underwear) greatly reduces the chance of something like that happening, but it’s still possible.”

The odds are small, but you do need to beware of chafing.

And then there’s the classic delusion that you can’t get an STD if you’re in water. False, again. According to Women’s Health, your chances of catching something are actually greater when you’re getting wet and wild.

“Water washes away the body’s natural lubricant, creating more friction, which increases the risk of tears in the vagina, where bacteria and viruses can enter,” according to a Women’s Health article by Erb Middleton.

Condoms can help facilitate extra lubricant, but they are easily weakened by chemicals in the water. A silicone-based lube is your best bet if you’re determined to get some aqua action.

Next, don’t let Aunt Flo fool you – it’s possible to get pregnant even when you’re having your period, so it’s best not to ditch the contraceptive, but this doesn’t apply when you’re on The Pill.

“The hormones in The Pill keep you from ovulating,” McDaniel said. “When you’re having your period, you’re only bleeding because of that withdrawal of hormones. (But) if you don’t start the new pack on time, it could allow you to begin ovulating.”

While it’s unlikely period sex will result in pregnancy, it’s still a possibility for women who have periods that overlap with the beginning of ovulation. Be cautious on your voyage through the Red Sea, and use good judgement.

Finally, contrary to what Asher Roth so ignorantly thinks, two condoms are not better than one.

“In fact, ‘double-bagging’ as it is sometimes called, can increase the friction between the condoms during intercourse, making them more likely to rip or tear… The same goes for using a male condom and female condom at the same time,” according to Go Ask Alice, a peer-reviewed online health resource produced by Columbia University.

So remember, only a douche double-bags.

Templeton

After a long and stressful study session, nothing takes the edge off like a good orgasm. As we prepare to dive head first into Dead Week and finals, days become longer, nights get painfully shorter and the limits of our endurance and mental stamina are stretched to the max. Academic stress is a cruel mistress. But there’s a solution – the big O.

Orgasms are known to relieve tension and pain, help induce sleep and, sometimes, reduce stress. Studies have also shown a correlation in how ejaculating more often – either solo or with a partner(s) – can lead to a lower risk of prostate cancer in adult men, according to Go Ask Alice.

As students, it’s simply in our nature to procrastinate. If you’re anything like me, you promise yourself that you will study. You write it down in your planner or on a calendar as a reminder of what needs to be done by when. But, inevitably, something more intriguing than studying and homework will come along, and academic endeavors are pushed to the backburner. Don’t deny it – we are all guilty.

The frenzy that is Dead Week and finals testing is a direct product of our scholarly shortcomings, among other factors. Think about it. The campus library will be open 24/7 during Finals Week because some of us are so behind on semester projects or have such intense tests coming up that we need access to the library at any time of the day or night to make it through. But wouldn’t these last two weeks of the semester be much more pleasant for everyone if we were all just a bit more mellow? Doesn’t it make sense to charge forward with all the same strength and determination, but to do so with a more positive, relaxed sense of well-being?

I don’t dare suggest the tradition of Dead Week and finals change. It may be hell, but there’s a tremendous sense of accomplishment and overall content when you walk out of that last test and realize you are, officially, done with the semester. The hoopla is part of the college experience, but it’s hard to appreciate anything when you’re a bottle of Xanax away from having an emotional meltdown. Sure, alcohol and other chemical remedies might provide some sort of relief, but then you’ve got to worry about a hangover or other repercussions that detract further studying. Why not rely on a good, old-fashioned, natural solution like an orgasm to take care of the stress?

It’s important to note, however, that not everyone enjoys sex, alone or otherwise, so getting your rocks off might not be the best solution for those with any sort of apprehension about sex.

“Sex can be stress-inducing for some,” said Mary McDaniel, assistant director of Health Services. “We have students from all backgrounds and experiences. Some may have had a history of sexual abuse, some may be in abusive relationships or unequal relationships, or may be in relationships where sex is used as a punishment or reward. It may seem difficult to imagine that something so effortless and fun for most can be downright terrifying to others and not relaxing at all.”

But for others who enjoy sex and all it entails, the benefits of orgasm may be a better, healthier way to deal with stress in these last two weeks. McDaniel said there is no “one size fits all” prescription for stress release, sexual or not, so there isn’t an ideal frequency of orgasm that will help students maintain stress. Still, students should make time for any activities that help manage stress.

“It is a good idea for students to plan a way to manage stress during this busy time of year,” McDaniel said. “Holiday stress adds to the stress of finals and deadlines, so students really need to take care of themselves.”

If having an orgasm works for you, make time for it, but don’t feel obligated to follow through if you simply aren’t in the mood. Having sex or masturbating when you really don’t feel like it is frustrating and can be more of an annoyance than a help. Plus, I’d be willing to bet your chances of actually getting off are slim to none. Most likely, you’ll become too irritated halfway through and give up anyway.

In addition to physical benefits, experiencing orgasm might also help you score higher on tests. Of course, studying, being well rested, well hydrated, well fed and relaxed are all factors that affect test-taking, but “if orgasm helps with any of those key issues, then it seems logical that academic performance could be helped as well,” McDaniel said.

“I don’t know of any studies done that specifically measure this, though,” she added.

So as we prepare for the roughest two weeks of the semester, remember to make time for a different kind of extra-curricular activity, too. If you find yourself in a rut while studying, if the tips of your fingers are forming blisters, if you’re about to crack under the pressure, please, do us all a favor, and take a sex break.

Templeton

Thanksgiving is a holiday for celebration, for over-indulgence and football, for awkward conversations with your Great Aunt Sally as she probes your love life, asking when you’re finally going to settle down and pop out a few offspring. We gather ‘round the table to give thanks to our Heavenly Father and to those first pioneers who braved the harsh conditions of the New World to build the America we know and love today. And as we stuff our stomachs full of all the traditional fixings—turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes—sex is probably the furthest thing from our minds.

But if in between the belly aching and cold sweats from an afternoon of decadence that rivals even that of the Roman Empire you begin to feel the familiar tingling of lust in your nether regions, fear not. Chances are that turkey leg you downed an hour earlier is working its aphrodisiacal magic.

Throughout history, people in all corners of the globe from all walks of life have turned to certain foods, beverages and drugs in hopes to procure some sort of libido-boosting powers. And even though, according to the Food and Drug Administration, no alleged aphrodisiac has yet been scientifically proven as effective, certain foods, including those found in the typical Thanksgiving smorgasbord, are believed by some within the scientific community or otherwise to help put us in the mood when ingested.

“Named after Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, beauty, and fertility, aphrodisiacs are substances that supposedly elicit sexual desire and arousal, enhance sex drive and sexual ‘performance,’ and extend sexual energy,” according to Go Ask Alice, a peer-reviewed online health resource produced by Columbia University. “The fact that some well-known aphrodisiacs look similar to men’s and women’s genitals, or are derived from animal sex organs, was no accident.”

Typically, when we think of aphrodisiacs, oysters and chocolate come immediately to the mind, but apparently even the archetypal holiday get-together with its run of the mill, average Joe dishes can make us feel a little naughty.

The scent of cinnamon and the history of its use as an aphrodisiac dates back to Biblical times. In the book of Proverbs in the Bible, it, along with myrrh and aloe, was used to perfume the bed of lovers. Cinnamon was also employed in the Queen of Sheba’s seduction of King Solomon. And in a 1994 study done by the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, researchers found that the smell of cinnamon buns had the greatest impact on sexual arousal, as measured by penile blood flow, in male participants.

In the 1995 follow-up study, the penile blood flow increased by an average of 40 percent in male participants between ages 18 and 64 after they smelled a combination of lavender and pumpkin pie. So feel no shame in hitting the dessert table this Thanksgiving. You can always work those extra calories off with some sexercise.

Continuing the trend of sugary goodness, according to Men’s Health Magazine, sweet potatoes are high in potassium, which helps reduce stress and is a “great way to curb performance anxiety.” But the sweet potato has a long history as a supposed aphrodisiac. In his 1597 “Herball or Generall Historie of Plantes,” John Gerard wrote about the sweet potato, and along with a description of the plant and how it is eaten, he also wrote that it “comforts, strengthens, and nourishes the body,” and produces “bodily lust,” according to the Library of Congress’ website.

Celery is a staple that can be found in most stuffing recipes, and, according to modern science, it contains androsterone, a human pheromone naturally produced in males that apparently stimulates sexual arousal in females. It’s still unknown whether or not the androsterone in celery has the potential to affect the body, but what’s there to lose? If nothing else, at least you can find comfort in the fact that you’re eating something healthy.

And what would Thanksgiving be without some good ‘ol cranberry sauce or salad? In addition to tasting like a spoonful of tart heaven, these little red dew drops are chock full of nutrients beneficial to sexual health, so says Eatsomethingsexy.com. Cranberries are a good source of Vitamin C, “which has been clinically proven to keep sex glands running,” and they also contain Vitamin A, which is “important for reproduction,” according to the website.

To round it all out, the ever-faithful holiday turkey is sure to send us straight to bed, but it might be for reasons other than the notorious sleep-inducing Tryptophan. “Turkey and other lean meats which are rich in zinc encourage blood flow and are thought to boost your libido,” according to Holidaydish.com. “Tryptophan is the added bonus because it produces serotonin, usually causing that blissful contentment experienced right after taking your last gravy drenched bite.”

Regardless of whether aphrodisiacs really do work, sometimes the power of suggestion is all you need to ignite a sexual spark. In any case, celebrate with all the vigor of the American spirit this Thanksgiving, and if an engorged belly doesn’t stop you from scoring some holiday booty, you’ll have even more to be thankful for.

Templeton

It happens each year like clockwork. When the leaves change colors and hoodies and light jackets are replaced with thicker, warmer winter coats, razors and hair removal products are pushed to the backburner. This is No Shave November.

Alternative Spring Break is hosting for the second year in a row the no shave competition. Participants were asked to show up in the union “clean and shaven” last Thursday to take before photos of either their faces (the beard category) or their legs. It cost $5 to enter, and the money raised was donated to Habitat for Humanity.

But while November has been long-revered as the no shave month, it’s common knowledge that not everyone keeps a hairless canvas throughout the other 11 months of the year. In fact, I was initially asked to do this column by two gentlemen with rather substantial amounts of facial hair; I’m talking full-on William Fitzsimmons beards—those bad boys take well over 30 days to accomplish.

Before I go any further, let me say that I have never been physically intimate with a guy (or gal) with a significant amount of facial hair, but that’s not because I am necessarily opposed to it. I just haven’t had the opportunity yet. That being said, I did, in fact, interview both men with beards and women and men who’ve either dated or slept with men with beards.

The most important thing men should keep in mind if they have beards or are thinking about growing one is that you’ve got to keep that sucker clean. I may not have ever been with a man with a beard, but I have had plenty of guy friends with one—let me tell you, a smelly beard is not a sexy beard. Of course, preferences will vary from person to person; that’s a no-brainer. Someone might find beards and/or facial hair in general physically appealing, while for others it’s a turn-off. Either way, you’ve got to remember that no one, regardless of their preference, is going to be attracted to badly groomed patch of hair that smells like a dirty armpit…and in some cases, a fishery.

Mary McDaniel, assistant director of Health Services, validated the importance of a clean beard, which can be accomplished by shampooing it with a mild shampoo.

“Some use conditioner as well, but blow-dryers are probably best avoided (because they are too drying to the skin),” McDaniel said.

It depends on how full or long your beard is, but it’s probably also a good idea to comb it, or something along those lines, to keep it looking neat and not like you’re harboring a nest of baby birds.

When it comes to being physically intimate, you’re going to get mixed reactions from your partners. Most of the students I talked to said kissing isn’t usually a problem unless the facial hair is at the “prickly-sharp” phase, in which case, it can be kind of painful. I’d suggest either keeping your face totally shaven or staying off the tonsil hockey until it’s grown out a bit more. When it gets a little longer, it can also get a little softer, which is a pleasant surprise for everyone and can make for an erotically unique experience, like an unexpected sensation.

I also asked students how facial hair affects oral sex. One female student said she enjoys the extra stimulus facial hair can provide, but in her experience, her male partners often get tuckered out quicker because they tend to use their neck muscles more; more chin action is incorporated. Facial hair can also provide an extra little tickling sensation, which apparently feels amazing on your genitals. And remember, if you are going down south with an arsenal of hairy soldiers, again, this is more than enough reason to make sure you properly and thoroughly clean up afterward.

As with all things in life, there are pros and cons to all aspects of facial hair. If you’re looking to spice up your love life this month or if you just want to try something different, I wholeheartedly encourage you to take part in No Shave November because you never know what doors your hairiness might open. And who knows—you may just find you have a new fetish.