Ashley Peaches

Dear Ashley

Which birth control pills are the safest and most effective?

Sincerely,

Cautious

Dear Cautious,

According to research done by Leiden University Medical Center in the Netherlands, some oral contraceptives come with more of a risk of blood clots than others.

According to the study, contraceptives with levonorgestrel and a low dose of estrogen have the lowest risk of venous thrombosis or blood clots.

However, experts at WebMD said that the differences in risk are small and the risk of getting blood clots is low to begin with.

The risk of blood clots is associated with higher levels of estrogen in birth control pills.

As far as effectiveness goes, most birth control pills have about the same level of effectiveness which, when taken correctly, can be 91 to 99 percent effectiveness.

But always remember the MOST effective form of birth control is abstinence, so keep it in your pants.

Dear Ashley

Why are you always saying keep it in you pants?

Sincerely,

Confused

Dear Confused,

Well “keep it in your pants” has sort of become my catch phrase and really is the motivation and the reasoning behind this column.

“Keep it in your pants” has its literal meanings (obviously) but mostly it has come to mean that if you are still having questions, don’t do it. And it has become a funny way to help people remember the main message of this column.

Like I’ve said before, I’m not trying to pressure people into doing anything that they don’t want to do, so one of the best pieces of advice I can give someone is keep it in your pants –  literally.

And for those of you wondering, no I’m not a nymphomaniac, or a woman who is obsessed with sex (interestingly enough, the male version of nymphomania is satyriasis). This is now referred to as hypersexuality, which can be applied to both sexes, according to dictionary.com.

I’m just an honest, open and curious person who is comfortable talking about a wide range of sexual issues.

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Ashley Peaches

Is there such a thing as too much masturbation?

Sincerely,

Often

Dear Often,

In short, the answer is no. Physically masturbation can’t really cause you any harm. According to WebMD, masturbation is healthy, can help relieve stress and can also be a safe alternative to other sexual activities.

However, masturbation can be harmful if the amount of masturbation limits what activities are performed in daily life. You know you are doing it too much if you can’t find the time to eat or sleep or go to work. And you may actually have a problem.

Masturbation can also be a problem if it begins replacing sexual activities in a relationship.

Over masturbation is actually defined as several times per day, every day. According to askmen.com, ejaculation should be kept to a few times per week. This means that if you can orgasm without ejaculating, you’re okay.

However, when the body experiences over stimulation, it can produce too much of the sex hormones and this could cause a chemical imbalance that may lead to fatigue, hair loss and groin pain.

So if you can contain your urges and only love yourself once a day or less, you should be fine.

Dear Ashley

Is it true that having sex in a pool or hot tub kills enough bacteria so that you can’t get any diseases?

Sincerely,

Wet and Wild

Dear WW,

Definitely not. You can get pregnant and get sexually transmitted infections even underwater including hot tub, pool, lake, ocean. According to WebMD, sperm can live outside the body, or in water, for several minutes if the water is at the right temperature.

The heat of a hot tub will not be hot enough to kill any bacteria from a STI. Actually, having sex under water can increase the chances of a woman getting a urinary tract or yeast infection.

However, condoms are not a safe method of birth control underwater. The risks of condoms breaking or slipping off are increased underwater.

So the best advice that I can give you is to keep it on dry land and keep it in your pants.

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Ashley Peaches

This week is Sexual Responsibility Week. While it may be fun to talk about the myths and interesting situations that come with sexual encounters, you have to be proactive when it comes to your own sexual health.

Although Sexual Responsibility Week ends tomorrow, there is never a bad time to learn about what you can do to keep yourself safe from unwanted infections or pregnancies. Talking to any potential partners about what is okay for you is important BEFORE engaging in any sexual activities. Discussing boundaries beforehand can make those lines that shouldn’t be crossed easier to see.

Remember to get tested and ask your partner to get tested. Being sexually healthy is up to both partners. And making sure that protection is available can also be the responsibility of both partners.

It is up to you to guarantee that YOU are sexually responsible. Visit safersex.org to find out more about safe sex practices.

Dear Ashley

Two weeks ago, you addressed a question about whether or not a person can get an STI from saliva. Well, what happens if a girl is giving a guy head and she has an STI?

Sincerely,

Receiver

Dear Receiver,

Like I said, it is hard to pass STDs through saliva. From the data I’ve found there is actually about the same risk through fellatio as that of swapping saliva alone. Unless of course you both had open sores, in which the infections could have passed much easier.

There is almost no risk of HIV/AIDS and, according to medhelp.org, there is a small chance of Chlamydia and Gonorrhea.

My column last week talked about the risks of passing herpes, which is one of your biggest risks, along with syphilis and nongonococcal urethritis.

Nongonococcal urethritis is actually a common STI which according to WebMd is an infection of the urethra. You can get nongonococcal urethritis from a Chlamydia infection but it is also a problem within itself. It occurs often in persons who participate in oral sex due to oral bacteria persistent in the giver.

Symptoms for nongonococcal urethritis are pain and burning during urination and/or discharge from the urethra. But having symptoms is sometimes rare.

If you are really worried about having an infection, contact a medical professional. You should always wear a condom when engaging in sexual activities.

Or just keep it in your pants.

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Ashley Peaches

Dear Ashley,

If you have cold sores on your mouth when giving oral sex, can your partner contract genital herpes?

Sincerely

Infected

Dear Infected,

Cold sores are a string of the herpes virus  called HSV-1. They are very contagious and can be spread from kissing or close contact. The sores are the most contagious when they are still blistery. Although it is possible cold sores can be transmitted even when a sore is not present or receding.

According to WebMD, HSV-1 can be transmitted to the genitals during oral sex. When this occurs, a person has contracted genital herpes. And in the reciprocal, someone who has genital herpes can transmit their herpes to their partners mouth, giving them oral herpes.

So my advice to you is to keep your mouth to yourself while you have a cold sore. In the long run, that oral stimulation you gave to your partner could turn into genital herpes for you.

Dear Ashley,

How does the rhythm method work?

Sincerely

Timely

Dear Timely,

The rhythm method is a natural form of birth control that utilizes a women’s ovulation cycle to help predict when she will be the least fertile. Women can learn to recognize the signs that determine when they will ovulate.

According to WebMD, women who have regular menstrual cycles and are cautious find this method effective. It is much harder for women who have irregular cycles to use the rhythm method.

The changes that occur in a woman’s body each month, and her awareness of them, can help a women learn when she will ovulate. Typically, a woman is able to get pregnant for about five days each month.

According to WebMD, ovulation occurs 12-16 days before menstruation. Since sperm can live inside a women’s body for up to five days, it is possible to get pregnant if sex occurs several days before ovulation.

If you are considering using this method, you should try to track your ovulation for a period of months before switching completely.

The first step is to try and guess your ovulation dates by tracking your menstruation from previous months. A women’s body temperature also has to be tracked. The body temperature usually drops a few days before ovulation and rises again a few days after.

The mucus secreted by the cervix also changes during a women’s cycle. Before and during ovulation, cervical mucus will be thin, clear and stringy.

Other, physical signs of ovulation can be detected to help prevent pregnancy such as breast tenderness, mood changes and stomach pain.

And if all else fails, just keep it in your pants.

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Ashley Peaches

Dear Ashley,

Can a woman get pregnant if she has sex while on her period?

Sincerely

Curious

            While there is a lot of debate out there about whether or not a woman can get pregnant while on her period, in general, the answer is yes.

            Ultimately, the answer depends on each individual lady. Every woman has a different hormone balance and that is what really determines when and how you can get pregnant.

            For women with relatively normal hormone balances, ovulation, an egg being released from the ovaries, occurs about 14 days before the start of a woman’s period. However, this can vary from month to month and woman to woman. Although many people think that menstruation is the end of the cycle, it is actually the beginning, with the first day of bleeding being the first day of the new cycle.

            If the egg is fertilized, it will attach to the uterine wall and nine months later you have a bouncing bundle of joy. If the egg is not fertilized, it can live for about 24 hours and will be ejected from the body along with the uterine lining.

            But sometimes, the egg is released after menstruation has already begun. And since sperm can live inside the body up to five days in ideal conditions, you could get pregnant, even on your period.

            Something to keep in mind, some women also have spotting between periods that can be mistaken for the real thing. Even after a woman gets pregnant she can still have this spotting. And that is how we get shows like, “I didn’t know I was pregnant.”

Dear Ashley,

Can you get an STD from saliva?

Sincerely

Kisser

            Interestingly enough, it is very hard to contract an STI from saliva. For things like HIV/AIDS, it’s nearly impossible because saliva contains very little of the virus. It would actually take gallons of saliva to contract HIV/AIDS and who wants to drink saliva. HIV/AIDS can be passed through blood, semen, fluids from the vagina or breast milk according to WebMD.

            However, Syphilis can be transmitted through saliva with prolonged kissing but it is most commonly passed on through sexual contact. Genital Herpes can also be spread through direct contact including kissing.

            Most other STIs are transmitted through direct contact and/or sexual contact. If you think you have an STI, contact a medical professional. To prevent STIs, wear a condom.

            Or just keep it in your pants.

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Ashley Peaches

Dear Ashley,

I was quite disappointed and shocked in the quality of articles that are appearing in the student newspaper-especially your “porno” column. It is sad to see that the newspaper staff has to resort to a sex column to maintain student readership. It was equally disappointing to see your name heading the column.

Sincerely

Uptight Non-Trad

Dear Uptight,

To start this semester off, I would like to address your concerns about my column. While the sentiment is not merely your own, most feedback from the student population (and faculty I might add) has been positive.

In saying that, I have to point out that I don’t think you’ve actually seen any real porn if you can equate my column with a porno. That being said, I’d like to talk about why it is important for all persons, especially the college aged ones, to be open and honest about sex.

We are no longer in the sexual dark ages. The problems that sexually active students face, which according to a survey released by the university of Minnesota in 2007 is more than 70 percent, are and can be preventable if an open dialogue is established between any and all sexual partners. At The Bulletin, we feel is it important to start the conversation that affects so many of our readers.

While some questions that I address are silly and based on myths, all of the questions I address are information that people may never have thought to find themselves. And if any of the information that I give is in question, you could look up the answers just as I have, or talk to a medical professional.

The important thing to remember here is that this is a student publication and the advice I provide benefits a majority of students. Unfortunately, I cannot please everyone, and you, Uptight, are in that category. I only hope that you realize that by shutting yourself off from your own sexual curiosity, you are hindering your ability to have an open and honest relationship with your partner and your current or future children.

Talking about sex does not, I repeat does not, force or put ideas into young persons’ minds about what they can do that they are not already doing. Talking about sex helps prevent all of those things that your mother is supposed to warn you about. In an age of unwanted pregnancy, STIs and AIDS, the best thing we can do, as a society, is to be open about all the things that come up in life.

Even for those who wish to remain abstinent, and more power to you on that one, you should still talk about sex. There is more to sex than vaginal intercourse and knowing what your boundaries are and what you consider “sex” is important for both partners even in a relationship where there is no “sex.”

College students should talk about sex so that each and every option is weighed before actions are taken. So I encourage all of you to talk to your partner about their previous partners. Get tested together or ask your partner to get tested. Talk about birth control options before you have to talk about emergency contraception. The best thing for a relationship is honest communication. Talk about love. Talk about life. And most importantly, talk about sex. Because whether you like it or not, Uptight, sex is how life begins and talking about sex can open up new possibilities for bettering life.

If you find it is hard to talk about sex with someone or you don’t want to talk about sex with someone, maybe you’re not ready to have sex. Uptight, I am not encouraging people to have sex or engage in any sexual practices at all. I am encouraging people to be proactive about their sex life, educate themselves and make the best decision possible for their own situation.

So thanks for reading my column. If it has intrigued you enough to read it even though you are ‘oh so offended’ than it must not be that bad. And if it is that bad, you can stop reading it.

As always, keep it in your pants.

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Ashley Peaches

Dear Ashley,

What’s the difference between the abortion pill and the morning after pill? How do they work?

Sincerely,

Tough Situation

Dear Tough Situation,

These two pills are very different in the way that they work. But I’m sure you are not the only one with questions.

The abortion pill is exactly that. Known as Mifeprex or RU486, this pill can end a pregnancy that is within the first nine weeks. Basically, it causes a woman to miscarry and is about 97 percent effective according to planned parenthood.

The first set of medications in the pill block the progesterone hormone. Progesterone helps keep the uterine lining in tact. Without it, the lining of the uterus will break down.

Within three days of taking the pill, a second pill, misoprostol, will be taken. Misoprostol causes the uterus to empty. This is the actual abortion part but it will be similar to a very heavy period. Most women abort within one week of taking the misoprostol pill.

However, the pill still has serious risks. It can cause infection and if it does not end your pregnancy you may have to have a regular abortion. A follow up visit is required to determine if the abortion pill actually ended the pregnancy and to makes sure that there were no complications. If the pill does not end the pregnancy, birth defects could be caused in the unborn child.

Unlike the abortion pill, the morning after pill, or emergency contraception, will not end a pregnancy. Emergency contraception is similar to a birth control pill. It is a large dose of levonorgetrel, which is present in most birth control pills.

Morning after pills can prevent an egg from being released from the fallopian tubes or prevent sperm from contacting an egg that has already been released. It can also prevent a fertilized egg from attaching to the womb according to the Federal Drug Administration.

The difference here is that if a fertilized egg is already implanted in the womb, morning after pills will not be effective. The morning after pill will not end a current pregnancy.

The morning after pill must be taken within the first 72 hours after unprotected sex but should not be used as a regular method of birth control as it is an “emergency” contraceptive.

The most commonly used morning after pills are Plan B and Preven. Fundamentally, both pills work in the same way.

While risks are rare, there are still some things to consider before taking this drug. The most common side effect is nausea but it could also cause irregular bleeding.

Morning after pills can be obtained from just about any pharmacist who is willing to distribute it. Women that are under 17 will need a prescription from a doctor and any one requesting it may be required to show their ID.

Abortion pills are slightly harder to find but Planned Parenthood can refer patients to doctors or clinics that will distribute the abortion pill.

According to the FDA, none of these pills will cause any future fertility problems.

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Ashley Peaches

Dear Ashley,

Is there really such a thing as a “G-Spot”? Where is it and how do I find it?

Sincerely,

Searching

Dear Searching,

There is really such a thing as a “G-Spot”. And if you know where to look it is not that hard to spot.

The “G-Spot” has been contended as another source of stimulation for the female orgasm. And last year, an Italian researcher, Emmanuele Jannini of the University of L’Aquila in Italy, claimed to have found the said spot, according to BBC. The area in question is a small pile of tissue on the front wall of the vagina just past the opening.

Jannini claims that all women don’t have a “G-Spot” but ones that do should be able to reach a vaginal orgasm. (And for those of you who don’t read my column, it is said that there is a difference between a vaginal orgasm and a clitoral one).

The easiest way to reach the “G-Spot” is the infamous “come hither” motion by inserting your finger into the vagina facing up and curling in towards the hand. You may have to search for it but you should know the spongy mass when you feel it.
Dear Ashley,

How can I tell if my girlfriend is faking orgasms?

Sincerely,

Fooled

Dear Fooled,

If you’ve seen the popular scene in “When Harry Met Sally” you may know that pin pointing exactly if a woman is faking or not is not that simple.

In an ABC news poll, 48 percent of women surveyed admitted to faking an orgasm at least once. However, 11 percent of men said the same thing.

What’s more interesting is the reason the respondents gave for pretending to climax, which includes men. The highest rated answer was “to please their partner.” Because we all know there is nothing worse than making someone think they are doing such a bad job that they can’t even please you. Unfortunately the second answer was “to hurry up and get done.”

So one of those reasons could be why your girlfriend would fake an orgasm; but trying to figure out if she is actually feeling the fireworks is a little more complicated.

Some signs of a real orgasm include flushed skin, heaving breathing, hard nipples, sensitive clitoris afterwards, increased heart rate and vaginal muscle spasms among other things.

If you still aren’t sure, ask her. Then you can help make sure that she will never have to fake again.

Until next time, keep it in your pants.

Do you have a sex, dating or relationship question for Ashley? Email her at entertainment@esubulletin.com.

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Ashley Peaches

Dear Ashley,

Does size really matter?

Sincerely,

A little Worried

Dear Worried,

The average size of an erect penis is between five and six inches, according to WebMD. When not in action, the average penis is about three and a half inches long.

So if you’re wondering if you are too small, you’re probably not.

In all honesty, for some women size does matter. For them, there is nothing more thrilling than an oversized man snake for their woman cave. Those girls are not going to be satisfied (and I do mean satisfied) with anything less than the big one.

However, don’t let this LITTLE fact get you all worked up (or put down). For some women, it is much more important that a man try to please her than it is for him to have a huge penis.

But don’t equate performance with size. The two are not synonymous. Performing well is more about stamina, interest and desire than it is about size.

If you’re really worried about your penis size, talk to a doctor. Don’t envy men with huge penises – they probably scary away more women than they entice.

So while size may matter for some women, I’m guessing the majority will say that there are bigger things to worry about than your penis.
Dear Ashley,

What are the rules about dating guys who are known to be cheaters? Should I take a chance or should I sit this one out?

Sincerely,

Unsure Girl

Dear Unsure,

The saying goes, ‘once a cheater, always a cheater.’ While I’m not saying you should totally forgo what could be true love, you should take it easy and don’t take any steps that you aren’t completely willing to make.

It’s hard to put yourself out there, whether or not the one you are crushing on has a questionable past.

I’m pretty optimistic in this sense and I would say you should give everyone an opportunity to get to know you. Don’t go and marry this guy tomorrow. But definitely let him show you that he wants to be there.

However, don’t hold his past against him. Maybe he sees something in you that makes him want to stick around. If you act like he’s going to wander around on you then you are just giving him the opportunity.

Take the chance. See what happens. But don’t put yourself in a position where someone could take advantage of your. If you feel like you can’t trust him, then maybe that’s a conversation you need to have. If the relationship is worth pursuing he’ll make an attempt to help you trust him.

After all, what ever happened in his past, is his past. He hasn’t done anything to you to make you doubt him. Don’t let rumors or your own preconceived notions get in the way of your happiness.

Do you have a sex, dating or relationship question for Ashley? Email her at entertainment@esubulletin.com.

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Dear Ashley,

My girlfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years. I love her and know that we will get married, eventually. But I really feel like she is pressuring me. The future is one of the only things we fight about. I’m just not ready. Is it wrong for me to make her wait?

Sincerely,

man under pressure

Dear Pressured,

There is really only one thing that I can say and that is that you have to weight your options and decide what is better for you.

On one hand you have a woman who is ready to take the next step with you and, I’m assuming, has probably been ready for a while.

On the other side, you are obviously still questioning where your relationship is going.

Definitely don’t do something that you aren’t completely ready for. Marriage is a big commitment and you don’t want to be the next divorced couple on the list of statistics.

If you really can’t see yourself taking that step any time soon, tell her. If she loves you, she’ll stay. You probably need to have a conversation about what it is that is making you so hesitant. There may be some real merit to your concerns. Don’t forget to ask her why she is so eager. There may be something there too.

However, a compromise may also be feasible. Remember, you won’t be getting married the day after you propose (or most people don’t). Sometimes, all the other person needs in a relationship is a little bit more commitment. Asking her to marry you could be that little bit of extra commitment.

So maybe you can give some conditions after the proposal. For instance, set the date two to three years from now, or further. Not only will that give you plenty of time to get everything planned, you could spend some time just being engaged without worrying about the future.

The final decision depends on what you feel comfortable with. Honesty is the best policy. So be honest and tell her how you feel and why you are, or are not, okay with taking the next step.

Ashley

Have a dating, relationship or sex question for Ashley. Email her at entertainment@esubulletin.com

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Dear Ashley,

I really have trouble when it comes to orgasms. I just can’t reach that point during sex. I rarely have orgasms when I have sex. Am I doing something wrong?

Sincerely,

Concerned Lady

Ashley

Dear Concerned,

Only about 30 percent of women actually reach orgasm every time during sex, according to a 2004 TNS survey. And 48 percent of women surveyed admitted to faking an orgasm at least once. An unlucky 10 percent of women have never had an orgasm at all, according to WebMd, so you’re not alone.

You have to take the time to get to know your body before you can expect any other person to know how to please you. They only really know how their own bodies work. If you’ve explored your nooks and crannies and you still haven’t found the words to tell them what makes you moan, here are some subtle things that may be preventing you from hitting the top.

Some women are under the impression that if they are extremely relaxed, they will be able to ejaculate. This isn’t always true. Sometimes a little tension can help you reach the edge. Kegel exercises are the best way to accomplish this. By squeezing your pelvic floor muscles (the same ones you use to stop your urine stream), you can increase the flow of blood throughout your body. This extra circulation can heighten your arousal, when the time comes, and increase sensations in your genitals.

But don’t become too preoccupied – you may dilute whatever sensations you were receiving. Don’t forget to enjoy the moment and think about exactly what is happening and how good it feels.

However, for some women, direct clitoral stimulation is needed for climax. The “rule of thumb” is, if your clitoris is farther away from your vagina than the tip of your thumb is from your first knuckle, it will be harder for you to set off fireworks with intercourse alone.

For you to get your happy ending with someone else, you will have to know how to get there alone. When you can figure out how to do it yourself, share that valuable information with that special someone. You may just need a little extra help from a hand, a toy or a tongue.

Have a question for Ashley, email her at: entertainment@esubulletin.com

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