Stanek

“The Last Exorcism” (PG-13) –

In the name of the father, the son and the HOLY SMOKES!

“The Last Exorcism,” directed by Daniel Stamm, is a horror film that questions the state of faith and has been crafted to look and feel like a documentary film, following the roots of past documentary horror films, such as “The Blair Witch Project” and “Paranormal Activity.” Like these two, the movie is capable of delivering unapologetic thrills that may or may not be as bone chilling as expected, but is a pretty enjoyable movie for the most part.

The setting takes place in Ivanwood, La., which is a rundown old place that looks forgotten. Strolling into town is Rev. Cotton Marcus (played by Patrick Fabian) with a documentary crew tagging along. Cotton is hired by two members of a highly religious family, Nell Sweetzer(played by Ashley Bell) and Louis Sweetzer(played by Louis Herthum), to perform an exorcism on Nell because they believe there is a demon inside of her.

Rev. Cotton states early in the film that he doesn’t truly believe in ghosts, leading to the fact that he is a hoax just trying to make money to support his family. But after entering the home of the Sweetzer family, Cotton doesn’t realize what kind of trouble he is going to face.

As said, the movie is shot in a documentary style, which makes the movie a little more convincing with its characters and believability. What also made the movie enjoyable is that the characters’ dialogue seemed unscripted, which I really enjoyed because it was like watching real people and not just actors reciting lines – not to mention Ashley Bell’s performance as the sweet and possessed Nell, which creeped me out a lot.

One of the few cons I found in the film is that there is music in the background. I don’t mean to be a stickler, but the movie’s thrills would’ve been much more thrilling if there was silence in the background, enhancing the tension of the scene.

The main flaw with the film is around the last 10 or 15 minutes of the movie. The story structure towards the end of it all is creative but falls apart completely by throwing in a ridiculous twist.

What I really liked about this movie is that it tries to actually scare the audience by not being an ultra-violent gore fest with nude teenagers running around acting dumb as rocks and getting their heads chopped off.

Despite the unnecessary ending of the movie, “The Last Exorcism” is one of the few better horror movies I’ve seen since “Drag Me to Hell.” I wouldn’t call this a great movie, but it provides enough fun and scares to bake a loaf of banana bread at home and make it a WORTHY RENTAL.

Steven Stanek

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Stanek

Vampires Suck (PG-13). It’s a shame that the title of the movie already has the word you’re looking for.

“Vampires Suck” is another unbearably stupid spoof movie that just doesn’t know when to give up on its failed attempt to make fun of its inspiration, the popular “Twilight Saga.” I’m not a fan of the series myself, so I don’t have any comment on that, but I will say that after watching this movie, it makes the series watchable to me.

I’ll start off with the simple reasons of why this movie is terrible: The movie seems to focus more on making fun of pop culture more than having an actual plot structure. The acting is obviously not top-notch, but it could at least attempt to get some character development into these characters.

Apart from those flaws, I’d say the main problem is that no one in the movie seemed to care what was happening or going on. If these people don’t care, why should we?

The movie doesn’t exactly have a story structure, apart from just having the movie play like the “Twilight” movies. The cast members share similar name as the “Twilight” characters, like Edward, Jacob and Becca (in order, played by Matt Lanter, Chris Riggi and JennProske) and just mock the source material the movie is based off of, along with other movies that have been currently released.

I don’t know about some people, but I find it rather irritating that movies like these are just failed attempts to make fun of others while it remains to be a movie that just laughs at itself.

The parody movie genre has been one that became much more popular after the “Scary Movie” series was released. Throughout the years, writers and directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have released many other parody movies, such as “Date Movie,” “Epic Movie,” “Meet the Spartans” and “Disaster Movie.” Unfortunately, all of those movies share the same flaws as “Vampires Suck.”

Friedberg and Seltzer are trying to provide the audience with humor that makes fun of the pop-culture of our society. The problem with their movies is that they try too hard to make fun of other movies and that they just turn out to be other pieces of junk.

I think I’ve made my point clear that “Vampires Suck” is a very horrible movie and is not a theater worthy film. If you’re really bored sometime and you’re in the mood to make fun of something, I still wouldn’t recommend watching this movie or seeing it. You have been warned and informed, this movie is a NO-GO.

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Tom Huck, printmaker and senior lecturer at Washington University in St. Louis, speaks with students gathered for an art forum Wednesday afternoon in SH 72. Huck said that many ideas for his prints come from his life experiences in his home town. Giri Nam/The Bulletin

Art students were presented with art and commentary from Tom Huck, printmaker and senior lecturer at Washington University in St. Louis yesterday.

“I want to hold up a mirror to society saying, ‘Hey, this is how much we suck,’” Huck said. “I generally show people doing bad shit. If you don’t want to be in my shit, then don’t do bad shit.”

Huck, founder of his own company called Evil Prints, follows the tradition of Albrecht Durer in the artistic form of relief print making and woodcutting. Unlike Durer, Huck uses blunt, uncompromising and sometimes disturbing imagery to get his point across.

The presentation began with Huck explaining stories about his childhood, and the roots of his artistic growth.

“Most people look at my work and think I had a fucked up childhood,” Huck said. “The truth is I didn’t.”

Huck told how he first encountered an engraving of Lady Jane being beheaded in a book about the Tower of London that he found under his father’s bed and how that effected him as a developing artist.

“It’s the little humorous things like the cross-eyed executioner beheading Lady Jane that I love,” Huck said. “I wanted to use that sort of humorous commentary.”

After the short introduction, students were presented with various works and accompanying stories from Huck that were largely inspired by events from his hometown of Potosi, Missouri.

“I am glad to see something so obscene,” said Brady Wilson, junior glass blowing major. “It really hit home cause a lot of us around here are from a small inbred area like he was.”

Some of the subjects of his pieces included events inspired by a bar that was open in his hometown from 1948 to ’51 with a bad reputation called the Bloody Bucket. Other subjects included emu fights, racist World War II veterans and a pair of infamous backwoods sisters.

“I thought he was hilarious,” said Kaila Mock, junior glass blowing major. “He said fuck more than I’ve ever heard anybody say fuck before. His stories were real rich, and he did a real good job of portraying the characters from his experiences.”

When asked about advice to artists seeking to get their names out into the public, Huck was eager to offer from his own experience.

“Stick to your beliefs,” Huck said. “Do what you do, and don’t deviate from it. Make your own scene, and never go somewhere expecting that scene to help you – You’ve got to make your own.”

The auditorium in the science hall was nearly completely full for Huck’s presentation.

“I thought the presentation was great,” said Larry Schwarm, professor of art. “I think he’s an amazing artist. To show that kind of craftsmanship and still be that funny really inspires students.”

Huck was one of several guest speakers that come to talk to art students every two weeks. The next guest speaker will be Jamie Warren, an artist from Kansas City, on Dec. 2.

Josh Johnson/The Bulletin

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Johnny torres, senior spanish and international business major and Christopher Milstead, junior German education major, listen to Maddie Kilmer, junior elementary education major, rehearse her lines for “el retablo de las maravillas” by Miguel de Cervantes. Jonathan Elliott/ the Bulletin.

Emporia State’s Delta Theta chapter of Sigma Delta Pi, the National Hispanic Honor Society, will perform, “El retablo de las maravillas” by Miguel de Cervantes at 4 p.m. tomorrow at the Emporia Arts Council located at 618 Mechanic St. A fiesta will follow the production.

The performance will be in Spanish but those who are not fluent speakers are also encouraged to attend.             Even without a complete knowledge of Spanish, audience members should be able to understand the concept of the play, said William Clamurro, professor of Spanish.

“The story is very simple,” Clamurro said. “Even if you don’t understand Spanish, please come. It’s free and open to the community and the students.”

There will be about 11 students performing in the production, not all of whom are fluent speakers.

“Most of (the performers) are students of Spanish,” Clamurro said. “Except for one, the rest of the students are not native speakers.”

Several other students will be helping with the technical aspects of the production.

“I love lighting and it’s a way to get my name out there and help other clubs,” said Levi Howe, senior theater design major and light technician for the show.

The performance is a part of the 90th anniversary of the founding of Sigma Delta Pi. The organization gave out grants for local chapters to hold celebrations for the anniversary.

“They had a grant contest and you could offer projects you could do during the month of November to commemorate Sigma Delta Pi’s founding,” Clamurro said. “With this money, we are putting on the show.”

“El retablo de las maravillas” has a similar concept as the children’s story “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” The title of the short one-act comedy can be translated to “The Wonder Show.”

“Two con artists come into a town and say that they have a wonder show that they will put on,” Clamurro said. “They say to the townspeople ‘You will be able to see wonders but it will be invisible to anybody who was born out of wedlock or any one whose ancestors are converted Jews.’”

The con artists describe all of the wonderful scenes the people should be seeing and everyone pretends to see the wonders, Clamurro said.

“If they say ‘I don’t see anything,’ the others will turn on them and say well ‘You must be a bastard or of unclean blood,’” Clamurro said.

Not wanting to be labeled as an illegitimate or of Jewish decent, the townspeople never admit to not seeing the wonders of the show.

Cervantes is also the writer of the popular story “Don Quixote.”

Ashley Peaches/The Bulletin

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John Henry, lead vocalist and guitarist, sings late Friday night at Beer:30, 4th and Merchant streets. The band is planning a tour of Europe in 2010. Jennifer Baldwin/The Bulletin.

On Friday, John Henry and the Engine performed onstage at Beer:30. The St. Louis/ Columbia, Mo based band is touring about 100-110 dates a year and has had shows in Emporia for the past few years.

“We’ve been playing in Emporia for about two years off and on,” guitarist and vocalist John Henry said, “more on lately. We were introduced to the scene by Ha Ha Tonka. They just showed us this market here in Kansas and it was pretty close to home and the people cared about live music, so that’s why we’re here.”

The band classifies itself as “Americana” music and keyboardist and vocalist Wes Wingate said their influence is American music of all kinds, including country, soul, gospel and rock and roll. At the show, they played covers of Credence Clearwater Revival.

“You know, the stuff they’re doing is pretty late 60s-esque stuff,” said John Shell, music major. “I mean, it is what it is and they play it very well. When you do covers, you want to hear somebody that can nail it.”

Henry and Wingate said they like playing in Emporia because there’s always a crowd of people that care about the music.
“The best thing about Emporia is probably the fact that there ain’t much to do in Emporia,” Wingate said. “So we are gathered here and everybody who is going to be out tonight is going to be here, really and that centralizes it which is harder.

“The bigger the city, the more it’s like a hotdog down a hallway, but here we can just really get a lot of people at once. And you know that they’re going to care about what you’re doing most of the time, so that’s a really good quality of this town.”

Eric Nelson, a member of The Whiskey Trio, which opened for John Henry, said he was honored to open for a band that the crowd really enjoyed.

“I thought it was great,” Nelson said. “It’s nice that there’s touring musicians coming to Emporia that care enough to stop here. It’s just good that we have musicians from other parts of the country coming through here.”

John Henry and the Engine plan on touring Europe in 2010. They are also coming out with a new EP on vinyl in October and will be back in Emporia towards the end of that month.

“The goals that we have are to constantly write better songs and to expand the radius that we tour in and to build up so that everyone can hear us,” Henry said. “We want people to hear the music that we do because we feel like what we’re doing is honest American music and we’re not trying to bullshit anybody.”

Lauren Walbridge/The Bulletin

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Bob Hart, senior theater major, runs through his lines Tuesday evening at play practice in Fredrickson Theater. ESU will present “Laundry and Bourbon” and “Lone Star” Sept. 22-26 at 7:30 p.m. and Sept. 27 at 2 p.m. JENNIFER BALDWIN/THE BULLETIN

This year the theatre department at Emporia State scheduled a diverse season that will feature five very different productions.
“We have selected a variety of kinds of stories and plays that each offer a different kind of substance for the audience,” said Theresa Mitchell, associate professor of theatre arts and director of “The Diviners,” a play that will premier in February. “Going to a theater with a live performance has another sense of energy with the performers on stage; sometimes the show can provide insight about our culture, society or community.”
Opening the season is a compilation of two one act plays about the return of a Vietnam soldier to his home town in Texas; “Laundry and Bourbon and Lone Star,” which will show from Sept. 22-27. “Laundry and Bourbon” is set in the afternoon and will show first. It will be followed by “Lone Star,” which is set later that same evening.

Brianne Simon, senior theater major, who will portray Elizabeth in “Laundry and Bourbon,” distinguishes the differences between the styles of a full-length play and two consecutive one acts.
“There’s not necessarily that exact point of connection that you have with the continuity of a full length play since these are two one acts,” she said. “So there’s some making connections between what’s said in ‘Lone Star’ and what’s said in ‘Laundry and Bourbon,’ and having to invent some of those connections. There is a little bit more freedom to create what happened and what’s going to happen. I don’t know that I like it any more or less, it’s just something new to experiment with.”
Gabe Moyer, senior theater education major, will make his debut as a main stage director in ‘Lone Star,’ the second of the one acts.
“I’m hoping that students are able to be involved and engaged in the show,” Moyer said. “Right from the get-go of ‘Lone Star,’ he comes out drunk and gets progressively more drunk. It’s funny to see the choices that they make. College students can relate because just about everyone in college is getting drunk. I think every student who goes to see ‘Lone Star’ will be rolling out of their seat laughing.”
Coupled with comedy, another element that the pair of plays possesses is its many parallels to the modern setting.
“Even though its set in an earlier time period, we think thematically it relates to something that is going on in our own time, but it’s also very funny,” said Jim Bartruff, director of theater. “It’s really an interesting pair of plays, and they are interrelated and are written to be performed in a single production.”
Bartruff will direct the second production of this semester, “The Rocky Horror Show,” which will show from Oct. 29 through Nov. 1 for Homecoming.
“It’s not your traditional musical comedy, it’s very definitely something else,” Bartruff said. “I think (the audience is) going to discover that it is one wild, outlandish musical.”

“The Rocky Horror Show” is a spoof of science-fiction horror movies from the 1960s, and the villain of the story is a transvestite named Dr. Frank N. Furter, Bartruff said.

“Ultimately, he seduces just about everybody in the household before the end,” Bartruff said. “I think the most important thing to know about ‘The Rocky Horror Show’ is that it’s meant to confront our sort of Victorian views of human relationships and sexuality. We want people to know that coming in because some people may be very uncomfortable with the subject matter of this play.”

Bartruff described the climax of the play where the entire cast is in fishnet hose and high-heeled shoes.

“Interestingly, I don’t think that the material is nearly as startling today as it might of been 30 years ago when it was first done, and I think the reason for that is because we see a lot worse on television today,” he said.
Contrasting with the first two productions, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” features a style of acting that is unfamiliar to many of the students involved.

In the play, the actors will read their scripts from music stands to mimic a radio show. The play also encompasses themes of the Christmas season, and will run Dec. 2-5.
“Our final production this semester, ‘It’s a Wonderful Life,’ is really an ideal sort of a production for the season and the fact that we’re doing it as a radio show gives us an opportunity to show three very different ways of doing plays in a single semester,” Bartruff said.
The theater season will continue after winter break with auditions for the spring plays during the first few weeks of the semester.

“The Diviners” will be preformed in February followed by “Hedda Gabler,” which will conclude the season in May. Any students interested in helping out with the productions or auditioning should contact the theatre department.

Sarah Shaw/The Bulletin

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No drums were thumped, no fingers snapped, no steam blown off hot lattes, but anyone strolling past room 309 in Plumb Hall would know the truth: there’s poetry to be found there.

Quivira, the student literary magazine on campus, honored Lisa Moritz and Katie Pownell, both graduate teaching assistants in the English department and recipients of campus-sponsored writing awards at Wednesday’s poetry reading. Moritz and Pownell also read some of their award-winning pieces in an open microphone session.
“It was fun getting to share my work with other students in a formal setting,” Moritz said after reading her poem titled “Still Running.”
“Still Running” features six six-line stanzas with six rotating words to end each line. Moritz also read several other poems dealing with childhood memories and the passage of time.
Moritz won the Green-Wyrick Scholarship for her work, and was also selected to represent the Association of Writers and Writing Programs’ Intro Journals Award Competition. There are four recipients of the Association of Writers and Writing Programs’ Intro Journals Award Competition total, according to Amy Sage Webb, associate professor of English and co-director of the Creative Writing Program.
“We’re going to be featuring them all month,” Webb said.
The monetary values of Moritz’s awards were not available at press time.
For Pownell, a recipient of the Blue Stem Scholarship, the reading presented a new challenge: reading her pieces in public.
“I’ve never really done it before, so I was quite nervous about it,” she said.
Pownell received the $200 award for her short story “Tree Picture,” but didn’t share it with the audience. She selected a different piece instead.
“It’s called ‘The Wooden Button,’” she said. “This isn’t the piece that I won the award for.”
After Moritz and Pownell completed their readings, host Kevin Rabas, assistant professor of English and co-director of the Creative Writing Program, invited students to participate in the reading with their own poems and short stories. He performed a short poem called “The Corpse” while a sign-up sheet was passed around.
Five student body members, including Shawna Berry, junior English major, Lindsay Bartlett, senior English major and president of Quivira, and Sarah Letourneau, former English student who graduated last month, read their poems or excerpts from their short stories. Each participant stated the title of their piece, as well as the back story. Several of the students credited their previous creative writing classes as the place they crafted their work, while others exposed more personal roots.
Natalie Mason, junior creative writing student, read second. She explained that her piece, “You Look Like a Stephen,” was a poem written for her younger brother.
“In 20 minutes, my little brother will be signing to play four years of football at ESU,” Mason said. “So this poem is for him.”
Mason also said she had given the poem to her brother for his most recent birthday.
Rabas thanked those who had turned out to share and listen, inviting them to attend the upcoming events sponsored by Quivira, which include several more Open Mic readings through the end of the month.
“I think this was a great opportunity to hear award recipients read their work and share with fellow poets and writers,” Rabas said. “These events are wonderful opportunities to hear what’s going on in a writer’s life.”
Additional writers will be honored, but which writers and when each will be honored has yet to be determined.

“To have Quivira host this event honoring these new, exciting voices is a blessing,” Rabas said.
Quivira will host additional Open Mic readings, beginning Feb. 18 in room 309 in Plumb Hall. Students interested in participating are encouraged to contact Rabas, Webb or any member of Quivira.

The Bulletin

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“4 1/2 stars out of 5″

Grab some big headphones or crank up the stereo volume for Mastodon’s triumphant return to progressive metal, “Crack The Skye.” This album, on which no track is less than five minutes and two tracks clock in over the big 10:00 mark, is about immersing the listener in the roaring guitars and textural keyboard sounds.

Melodic, ambient metal sounds start you up on this album, which tells a story of a quadriplegic who projects his spirit into the universe and ends up as a trip through Czarist Russia and a fateful encounter with the dreaded Rasputin.

While surprisingly for a concept album, no single track serves as filler for the story, the two riff-laden masterpieces “Divinations” and the appropriately complex “The Czar: I. Usurper – II. Escape – III. Martyr – IV. Spiral” stand head-and-shoulders above the rest of the album and quite possibly above all the rest of Mastodon’s works, with guitar play and background melodies more complex than anything the band has ever produced before.

Other, more subtle tracks like “The Last Baron” serve as bridges both for the story and the high-pitched, exploratory tone of the album, while managing to utilize keyboard and wild variations in tempo to project you into the middle of the band’s vision.

Wormholes, time travel, astral projection and Stephen Hawking are all visited and each track sets you in the middle of a different yet always complex world.

Several of the songs are so intricate and complex, sounds laden on sounds, that it’s difficult to get it all in a pass or two. Expect to want to re-listen to each track, looking for something different each time.

This is helped along by a seemingly dueling background theme to each track, providing both ambience and counterplay with the main metal and drum play. For those who want to immerse themselves even further in the prog metal ambience, the deluxe edition of the album contains instrumental versions of each track.

Overall, “Crack The Skye” emerges as Mastodon’s finest album thus far, bringing together their love for complex, intricate metal scores with the ambience and flow that made Mastodon famous.

-Zachary Hughes

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As each generation of movie-goers ages, producers and directors keen on maintaining their audience will produce movies aimed at various ages which reflect that generation’s tastes. For example, previous generations might prefer moralistic movies with lessons learned and characters changed, while more recent generations respond more favorably to escapist, magical fantasies and wondrous worlds beyond. But one element of movies has existed which appeals to old and young, college students and college professors alike – car chases.

From early 70’s hits like “The Italian Job” or “The French Connection” to more modern movies like “The Transporter” or the various James Bond movies, car chases are something that can potentially interest anyone who has ever driven or existed around cars. So it may come as little surprise that more and more directors are creating entire movies that are best summed up as extended car-chase sequences with a plot thrown on for show.

“Fast and Furious,” the so-called “re-imagined version” of 2001’s “The Fast and the Furious,” is exactly what the first movie should have been. This movie creates no failed attempt at a deeper hedonistic philosophy like the failed “Tokyo Drift,” no pathetic attempt at a defense of macho-culture like in the 2001 original; just fast cars, furious people driving those cars, and the obligatory fight scenes and explosions that should accompany your basic action movie.

The acting is pitch-perfect in this movie, which, for a basic action movie, means the lines are kept short and simple, the plot is spoken of just often enough to keep suspension of belief alive, and most attempts at movie romance or other development is quickly shot down by the actors’ lines in favor of driving around really fast and causing mayhem.

Vin Diesel returns front and center as illegal street racer Dominic Toretto, on the lam for six years in a hand-waved attempt to connect this movie to the plot of its predecessor. His girlfriend Letty, played in the previous movie by Michelle Rodriguez, has been murdered, and former racing partner and FBI agent Brian O’Connor (Paul Walker, in the movie’s best role) is tasked with tracking him down, along with a local drug cartel leader.

That sums up the entirety of the plot, and if that seems a bit insubstantial, it’s because “Fast and Furious” is the kind of movie that doesn’t really seem to care if viewers like the plot or not; they’d probably rather see some explosions and fast cars anyway. Even the periodic romance, primarily women throwing themselves at Toretto, is seemingly laughed at by the movie, with the singularly-focused Man-on-a-Mission Toretto ignoring every advance.

For a movie that has so effectively put all of its eggs into one 180-miles-per-hour basket, it could reasonably be expected that the car chases are where most of the budget has gone. In this, “Furious” exceeds expectations with a pre-title car chase that sets a pulse-pounding pace for the movie to come, and several fifteen-minute chase sequences that will leave viewers on the edge of their seats.

A few flaws do become evident shortly into the movie. For a film that promoted itself in previews as “a constant high-speed thrill ride,” the sequences filling the gaps between car chases are long, devoid of any real excitement, and almost enough to cause a loss of interest, especially one particularly egregious why-won’t-he-shut-up-and-drive sequence between Diesel and Walker. In addition, the constant slew of women losing control of themselves at Toretto’s mere mention does come across as a bit misogynistic.

Overall, “Furious” views as a movie that isn’t trying to be anything more than an action movie, and while this lack of ambition keeps it from being truly great, the focus and dedication it provides lands it easily among the best action movies of 2009.

Zachary Hughes/The Bulletin

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Last Saturday, three members of the four-man band Evil Love Drones performed at Mulligan’s under the name The High Life, playing covers of such songs as “Folsom Prison Blues” and Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab.”
“We need something to take up the first part of the show, so we just decided to pull out The High Life,” said Matt Lang, instructor of Spanish at Emporia State and band member. “It helped warm the crowd up for Evil Love Drones.”
Band members Lang, guitarist Eric Martin and drummer Doug Stormont performed for about 20 minutes, running through eight covers before taking a break to come back on as Evil Love Drones around midnight.
“We’re all members of both The High Life and Evil Love Drones,” Lang said. “We have one more member for Evil Love Drones than The High Life, but we also switch things up.”
The band members of The High Life switch positions and instruments under the mantle of Evil Love Drones.
“I play the bass in The High Life, but for Evil Love Drones, I switch to the guitar,” Lang said. “I sing in both, but Eric Martin is more of the front man for The High Life, and we have Jimmy Keegan play bass for us (Evil Love Drones).”
Stormont plays the drums for both bands, but also contributes to vocals.
“I lucked out, because I don’t have to change anything,” Stormont said.
Martin acknowledges that the switch tactics could be confusing for most fans who might not understand why the two bands have the same members.
“We try to make it clear when we’re performing that although we’re the same people, they are two very different bands,” he said. “I think they hear that when we play, but leading up to that might be confusing.”
The High Life, which functions as strictly a cover band, infuses an acoustic rock sound with a rhythmic edge of the songs they perform. The High Life also covered Cat Stevens’ “Wild World,” and Cheech and Chong’s “Two Joints” before concluding with Oasis’ “Wonderwall.”
“We pick songs that we can play really well, but that will also be complimented by our sound,” Martin said.
The High Life has been together for about two years. About a year ago, The High Life members expanded to create Evil Love Drones, allowing them to explore their own original music.
Lang, who describes their sound as “just real rock,” stresses that a major component of the band’s influence is the need for music.
“I teach Spanish up at the college, but when I’m not teaching, all my mind is on is music,” he said.
The other band members share Lang’s enthusiasm.
“This is the important stuff, and getting to see people come to our shows and give support,” Martin said. “We do this because we love it and it helps to have people out there that get it. To our fans, we need more of you.”
According to Lang, Evil Love Drones has a recording of 22 original songs due out this summer. The upcoming album is currently self-titled, but nothing is set in stone.
“We may try to be like Weezer and pull a ‘if you’re in the know, you know.’ Or Van Halen,” Stormont said. “Maybe be like Van Halen or Pink Floyd and not have titles. We’ll number it or just say nothing.”
In the meantime, both bands will continue to perform.
“We have to play, because we have no choice,” Lang said. “It’s in our blood. If we don’t play, we’ll die. We need loud music to live. I eat music.”

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Most Emporia State students are old enough to recall the 1994 big-screen debut of “Street Fighter,” the cinematic adaptation of the popular Capcom video game series. Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme as the heroic Guile and Raul Julia as Bison, the two characters squared off amidst an ensemble cast displaying impressive fighting moves, memorable tracks of dialogue and bearing an eerie resemblance to their characters (bonus points to Kylie Minogue, who played Cammy, for wearing braided pigtails while lusting after Damme).
Too bad last month’s release of “Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li,” hyped up to be the best modern adaptation of video games to date, has neither the caliber of actors or storyline to chase after the predecessor.
In a complete departure from the historical background of the character, the new “Street Fighter” has Chun-Li (played by Kristin Kreuk of TV’s “Smallville”) focusing on becoming a concert pianist. During her childhood, Bison (played by a perpetually sneering Neal McDonough) and Balrog (played by the ever-fabulous Michael Clarke Duncan) kidnaps her father, but not before he teaches Chun-Li ancient martial arts.

After entering into adulthood, she decides to rescue him. She networks with other famous “Street Fighter” characters along the way and an Interpol agent named Nash (played unconvincingly by “American Pie” alum Chris Klein). Eventually she is reunited with her father, but only for a moment before Bison assassinates him. Eventually, Chun-Li extracts her revenge on Bison and his henchmen.

It’s difficult to say where this film went wrong first: the casting, the character development, or the fight scenes.
The casting is certainly a major drawback. Kreuk has all the enthusiasm of department store mannequin (in stark contrast to the vivacious Ming-Na of the original movie) and delivers her lines just as sharply. She veers from dead to disciplinarian and never captures any space in between, creating the illusion that Chun-Li just isn’t capable of expressing any other kind of emotion. Even her video game counterpart had more complexity than the blank-faced screen siren who captured Tom Welles’ heart on television.
Tragically, while Kreuk may receive some jeers for her flat effect, cold eyes and unreadable facial expressions, Klein is well on his way to earning a Razzie for his turn as Nash, a determined yet incompetent Interpol agent. Doing his best impression of a “Top Gun”-era Tom Cruise, Klein doesn’t deliver his lines as much as he spits them out. Making matters worse, he often saves Chun-Li from dire situations and wisecracks through nearly every battle. Even when it’s obvious he’s won her heart, he doesn’t drop the machismo act, an entirely one-dimensional performance that is the epitome of cheesy action hero.
Sadly, the bad character acting is likewise helmed in by the lack of development. Chun-Li’s father can teach her how to successfully kill a man, but can’t escape the clutches of the aging Bison. Chun-Li’s own fighting skills are legendary, unless she’s surrounded by a group of addled-brained henchmen, who can only be defeated by the obnoxious swagger of Nash. The obvious exception to this is Duncan’s Balrog, who spends most of his time growling, banging heads together and driving around in his Benz. In other words, Balrog isn’t much of a departure from the usual hoodlums that Duncan plays.
When casting and characters leave something to be desired in action flicks, redemption can generally be found in the fighting scenes. Given that this film is loosely adapted from one of the best fighting games of all time, “Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li” should arguably be the blueprint for how action movies work.
However, director Andrzej Bartkowiak (who also adapted “Doom”) falls down on the job. The fight scenes are generic and hastily strewn together, suggesting a poor editing job that fluctuates from awful to choppy.

In fact, the video game featured more entertaining moves and special effects than this. Much like an old Honda (the car, not the wrestler of the series) the fighting characters take forever to start up and engage. Klein’s Nash in particular is gruesome about this, deflecting valuable fighting time with painful one-liners that are more condescending than clever.

The best fight scene takes place between Chun-Li and Bison flunky Vega (Black-Eyed Peas singer Taboo) a murderous, hockey-mask wearing vigilante who wields Wolverine-like claws. However, Chun-Li quickly disposes of him and decides to hang him up by his claws, which, though sharp enough to slice a man in half, apparently can’t cut through rope.
Yet the greatest injustice of the film is that from the very beginning, it alienates the viewers that it wants to connect with. Watching “Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li” should encourage students to relive their glory days of furiously pushing joysticks, drinking Mountain Dew and eating delivery pizza. Instead, “Street Fighter” is likely to encourage students to resort to reading for more fulfilling fight sequences. Find the flying kicks elsewhere.
Also starring Robin Shou, Joanna Ho and Edmund Cheun, “Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li” has a running time of 96 minutes. Rated PG-13 for some violence, it is released by Twentieth Century Fox-Film Corporation and is playing in most major theaters.

The Bulletin

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