Corky's Handoff

Editor’s Note: This is a satirical piece.

The day could be approaching where we, as a campus, could all rest easy.

Emporia State will possibly be a tobacco-free campus as of the Spring of 2018. A tobacco task force has been meeting and is continuing to meet to set up guidelines in the following weeks.

Our campus is going to be cigarette free because everyone knows smoking kills, but apparently guns don’t kill people.

No more walking by the Union Square, burying your nose in you shirt or covering your mouth and nose because people can’t read the sign, “No Smoking!” But not walking by other students and staring at their holsters.

No longer do you have to walk around campus and be disgusted by the amount of cigarette butts littering the ground. But not worrying about who’s packing?

Also, the people who work so hard to keep this campus looking beautiful no longer have to worry about picking up people’s trash because they take an extra five seconds to put their habit out in a designated tray. Instead of them picking up empty bullet shells?

Many students seem to approve of this idea. They believe this is a wonderful direction ESU is taking to make campus air cleaner for those who suffer from any sort of breathing issue, who are allergic to cigarette smoke, or who just hate the smell.

Which is great! Don’t get us wrong. We love the idea of being a smoke free campus. But, it seems we will be trading our cigarette packs for guns. Because apparently, administration believes there’s nothing to fear with the upcoming law going into effect July 1st. So they decide, instead, to focus on something that is actually killing students slowly.

Now, instead of walking around and having to inhale the smell of cigarette smoke, we have to worry about who’s packing a dangerous, lethal weapon!

While the classroom will no longer stink of cigarette smoke, instead we just have to worry about being on edge when a student who is packing gets into an argument with the professor.

Cause why should we have to worry about something that could kill students quickly, and immediately, when preventing the slow death from an item that clearly needs our attention on this campus?

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