Dear Ashley,
I really have trouble when it comes to orgasms. I just can’t reach that point during sex. I rarely have orgasms when I have sex. Am I doing something wrong?
Sincerely,
Concerned Lady
Ashley
Dear Concerned,
Only about 30 percent of women actually reach orgasm every time during sex, according to a 2004 TNS survey. And 48 percent of women surveyed admitted to faking an orgasm at least once. An unlucky 10 percent of women have never had an orgasm at all, according to WebMd, so you’re not alone.
You have to take the time to get to know your body before you can expect any other person to know how to please you. They only really know how their own bodies work. If you’ve explored your nooks and crannies and you still haven’t found the words to tell them what makes you moan, here are some subtle things that may be preventing you from hitting the top.
Some women are under the impression that if they are extremely relaxed, they will be able to ejaculate. This isn’t always true. Sometimes a little tension can help you reach the edge. Kegel exercises are the best way to accomplish this. By squeezing your pelvic floor muscles (the same ones you use to stop your urine stream), you can increase the flow of blood throughout your body. This extra circulation can heighten your arousal, when the time comes, and increase sensations in your genitals.
But don’t become too preoccupied – you may dilute whatever sensations you were receiving. Don’t forget to enjoy the moment and think about exactly what is happening and how good it feels.
However, for some women, direct clitoral stimulation is needed for climax. The “rule of thumb” is, if your clitoris is farther away from your vagina than the tip of your thumb is from your first knuckle, it will be harder for you to set off fireworks with intercourse alone.
For you to get your happy ending with someone else, you will have to know how to get there alone. When you can figure out how to do it yourself, share that valuable information with that special someone. You may just need a little extra help from a hand, a toy or a tongue.
Have a question for Ashley, email her at: entertainment@esubulletin.com