Group photo at the weekend in Putten oh so long ago...

Today, I took a bus to Central Station and saw a dear friend get on a shuttle home. As I bussed home, it hit me—it is almost over. The quaint little Dutch town on the German border that I have come to call home for the last few months will soon be miles and miles away from me, as my journey in life continues.

I will never forget the places I have been and the things I have done. I will never forget the emotions I felt throughout the whole process here. The joy, depression, homesickness, elation, confusion, and general appreciation for the way the world works. But most of all, I will never, without a single doubt, EVER forget the love. Before I came here, I wasn’t sure whether or not I thought love truly existed, or if it was just the way humans processed some kind of overload of joy. But now, right now, as I sit in my room in the nearly empty Vossenveld student housing complex waiting for Andy to get back so we can plan dinner, now, I know it’s there. Love is here, if not in the air somehow, at least inside me somewhere. I know that I love this place, and I love so many of the people I have met here, and I love travel, and exploration of the mind, or heart, or the world. I think I may lose this feeling over time, because time has a funny way of going about things, but I will certainly not forget it. Not forget how hard goodbyes are, or how easily new friends can become old friends in an instant, or over some undefined amount of time. I won’t forget the love, I promise you that.

So now, I sit alone and wait for a plane to take me back to the world I willingly left to find something… I’m still not sure what. But, I think that maybe I achieved that goal for myself. I found that something. Some knowledge I didn’t have before, about the world, or at least my world. So, then, for lack (as usual) of the ability to properly describe the highly complex process of human emotive responses, I will say the only thing left to say—my thank yous.

Thank you to my parents and family for helping me out in making this experience possible, without your support, it’s obvious to me this wouldn’t have happened. Thank you to the government for helping financially, though, of course, it wasn’t a hand out. But, still, I have been given the right to go discover the world if I want, and to have a right like that is not as common as you would think in today’s world. Thank you in advance to my friends back home for allowing this hiatus in our face to face relationship, and for picking up where we left off, as I assuredly hope you will let me do. Thank you to Emporia State for their steadfast commitment to international education, and allowing me to take part in something so incredible, even if it is only so to me. Thank you to the Bulletin, for allowing me to express, or at least try to express, my feelings and experiences throughout this whole process, I appreciated the chance to express myself via this blog—there is nothing truer to me that outright expression, and you made it possible. Thank you, likewise, to those who have read my posts throughout this semester—be you friend, family, or complete stranger—I am forever in your debt. Thank you to Andy, whose friendship and camaraderie throughout this entire semester was nothing short of a lifesaver, or at least something constant to cling to. The blessing of being able to share something like this with another person gave me great comfort, and no doubt a lot of great times.

But most of all, the biggest thank you I feel I have to give, is to my fellow exchange students at Radboud this semester. It is because of you that this experience was as great as it was. Thank you to all of my friends here, for so many things that I can’t even really explain. Thank you for the laughs, the good times, the tidbits of insight into your lives before this semester, and the life we made together here in Nijmegen. I swear upon God, or my heart, or whatever else, that I will NEVER forget how you made my experience here the greatest of my life, whether it was by staying up till 5 in the morning with me and waxing poetic, or talking sports, or simply smiling at me in passing, thank you so, so much. No words can express exactly how thankful I am to have met all of you, and I truly hope our paths will cross again down the road somewhere. But, even if they don’t, we remain connected because of this experience, and in that way, we will always be together. I hope you remember me as I will remember you, and I hope that your lives are everything you want them to be, no matter what goals you have. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, and my mind, and my soul. Thank you.

So, I guess this is where I leave you. And, surprisingly I have come so far since my first post—physically, but more so mentally. I have come so far and yet, I have no choice but to leave you the only way I know how, the same way I found you. I am the same fearful, curious, out-going yet reserved college kid I was when I wrote my first post, which seems so long ago. Yet the only fitting way to say goodbye, as I have found out by saying more goodbyes in the past week than I ever want to do again, is to just say it, and attempt to put an asterisk behind it to explain all of the incomprehensible and inexpressible emotions attached to the word.

So, therefore– adios, papa, farvel, arrivederci, zbohem, doei, auf wiedersehen, slán leat, au revoir, God be with ye, and, of course, last but not least…

Goodbye*

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